mousapelli: (objection)
[personal profile] mousapelli
This school year feels different. Or more like, I feel different. It's been a good start mostly for me personally, reasonably calm, but like last year, it's exhausting. Every year they add more stuff, and they never take any stuff away, and I redo the same stuff over and over and over because honestly I'm not even sure why. But that's not what I mean. This year I really felt suddenly like I was in the middle third of my career, like I really knew what I was doing and I felt comfortable with what each of my 4 levels should be doing when, and I've made a few new activities but it wasn't because I HAD to, it was because I knew I could run an efficient enough to get an extra thing in that class and I wanted to, because I thought I could make it better. And those things did work, and they were better. It took ten fucking years (it's supposed to take 3-5 of teaching the same class but when you have 4 levels AHAHAHA). I can't really put into words what exactly feels different because I don't really feel better or happier or less stressed out, but different.

and yesterday I had a day where just, it was too busy and stuff kept going wrong and happening unexpectedly, and in the middle i found myself sort of laughing about it, because what can you do, whatever, and I was thinking about how if I had had that day my 2nd year of teaching, or maybe even my 5th, I would have cried. Definitely. Probably in the hallway. So at first I was like, maybe this is what being an adult is actually like, it just all washes over you, but then I thought, maybe I've just reached a point where I've exhausted all my emotions about all of this stuff because it certainly won't get easier or probably any better, so all that's left is to chuckle ruefully no matter what happens.

Sanapig is still alive, somehow. I feel really bad for him, but there's nothing to do but pet him and give him all the lettuce he wants.

Steven Universe back on hiatus I guess, which sucks. All this week i've been trying to make a post about how the Mystery Girl made me feel, but it's complicated. On the one hand I could see how it should be one of my five favorite episodes, if not actually my favorite episode. On the other hand the reason I like Pearl so much is because I empathize with her unfixable loneliness, and giving her a possible remedy to that set at odds my desire for that to actually be the case (SU would do it so RIGHT) against being sad that I am somehow now getting left behind by even fictional characters.

and then I feel bad that that's even a thing I think about, but i've come basically to terms with the fact that having no real person to put emotional investment into, I just channel it all into Japanese guys and apparently now animated gem ladies. Also I thought Onion Friend was dumb but I always feel like that about onion episodes.

Speaking of living vicariously through fandom, today on Jweb Miyata was complaining Tama hadn't sent him a birthday text but then added, "Well, we do share a dressing room, and also live under the same roof" which is pretty glorious. At what point can we decide this is a real thing? Is it now? Their phone game CM is adorable.

I have an intense love for In the Storm, SixTONES new Shounentachi song, so of course it's written by Steven Lee. He writes everything I love!! cannot WAIT to see it on shokura. although I will never see Hokuto/Taiga's chained up version of Rockin Party (or yasui/nabesho duet) dammit, but I guess you can't have everything. One of the posters this month immortalized Taiga's pink hair, and it is already on the wall next to my bed where it pleases me every day.
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