but all my words come back to me

Mar. 27th, 2017 11:01 am
musesfool: text icon: somewhere in this building is our talent (somewhere in this building is our talent)
[personal profile] musesfool
Writing meme? Writing meme:

my stories:

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?
2: What scene did you first put down?
3: What's your favorite line of narration?
4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?
5: What part was hardest to write?
6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?
7: Where did the title come from?
8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?
9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?
10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?
11: What do you like best about this fic?
12: What do you like least about this fic?
13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?
15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

Hit me up.

musesfool: Ahsoka Tano (my power's turned on)
[personal profile] musesfool
At dinner last night (the chicken tenders were AMAZING), I drank three firefly and cranberry cocktails, and they were so good. If you have a place near you that sells Firefly sweet tea vodka, I highly recommend mixing it with cranberry juice and topping it with a slice of lime.

On TV this afternoon, Keith Hernandez called the Atlanta pitcher "a human rain delay." Which I thought was hilarious. I'm so excited for baseball being back soon!

Before that, I caught up on some of the stuff on my DVR.

Steven Universe: Rocknaldo, Tiger Philanthropist, Room for Ruby
spoilers for all three )

I also watched the season finale of Star Wars Rebels: Zero Hour, though I had to hunt the first half hour down online since for some reason my DVR only recorded the second half. (Was the first half not listed as "new"? I honestly don't understand how this works sometimes, but it's infuriating.)

spoilers )

So it didn't reach the emotional highs the s2 finale did, at least for me, but I don't think it could have?


my heart is a boat on the sea

Mar. 25th, 2017 04:18 pm
musesfool: sara ramirez applying lipstick (pull on your pout)
[personal profile] musesfool
Last night and then today I made batches of this body balm, though I'm afraid I personally find it too redolent of coconut to use myself - I tried it last night on my lips and it tainted everything with the taste of coconut. #the taste of betrayal I made it with the addition of gold satin mica powder, hoping for a golden shimmer, but alas, I don't think it really provides one. today I tried copper sparks mica powder, which I think might actually impart too much pigment to use it on skin other than lips? But I guess we'll see. I suppose it could be a cream eyeshadow or blush...? I'm meeting L. for drinks tonight, so she can test it out for me. Especially since I substituted shea butter for cocoa butter, which the internet tells me I shouldn't have? It's very rich balm, either way.

Meanwhile, I am liberally covered in glitter and I could not be happier about it.

Marg and Helen and the girls all loved their lip balms (and glitter gels), so I feel confident I found a couple of recipes that people other than me like, so that's good.

This morning, I made these chocolate cherry breakfast cookies (pic) and I might have made them too big, since they took more like 15 minutes to cook rather than the 9 to 11 the recipe suggests. I also used almond butter since I don't like peanut butter (I know, I know; I also don't like tuna fish; I was a nightmare child!) and they smell and taste great. And I finally used up the last of the dried cherries from my Christmas chocolate making, which was good. I found they (the dried cherries, I mean) were not as good in salads as dried cranberries, so they've just been sitting around taking up space. *hands*

So I feel like it's been a productive day, even if I didn't get the good sleep I was hoping for last night.

musesfool: "We'll sleep later! Time for cake!" (time for cake!)
[personal profile] musesfool
Five random things on Friday afternoon:

a. I realized I'd miscalculated and only had enough lettuce for four days of lunch salads. I still have croutons, cranberries, cheese, and cashews walnuts (the alliteration was working there for a minute), but no more romaine. So I had an everything bagel with scallion cream cheese and it sure was tasty.

2. Why is it so hard to find a nice red patent leather tote bag? It doesn't even have to be real leather? I would take PVC! But apparently it's not in style now? I don't understand - how does red patent leather ever go out of style?

iii. I went to bed early last night - the past two nights I've had that low-grade fever feeling, with the aches and the chills - and slept okay but I still did not want to get out of bed this morning. I am hopefully going to get some sleep over the weekend.

D. so in the oft-mentioned but still unfinished Thing 1 and Thing 2, I've been trying not to repeat events (it's the same overall story told from two POVs), but I came to a thing that I think has to be told twice - once when it happens, and then once again later, as told by the person it happened to directly. I think that makes it less repetitive? I don't know. I still haven't figured it all out. I've never really done a thing like this before, where it's separate stories rather than just sections from different POVs. I guess we'll see how it works if I ever finish them.

5. Alyssa texted me that she was feeling sad on Wednesday so she put two of the songs from the Flash/Supergirl musical ("Super Friend" and "Put a Little Love in Your Heart") on repeat along with "Hooked on a Feeling," "December 1963 (Oh What a Night)," and the Lego Batman song and found it very cheering. In case you also feel in need of happiness.

Sigh. I am so ready to go home.


And you're grieving but don't hurry

Mar. 23rd, 2017 12:50 pm
musesfool: Jane Villanueva (your place in the family of things)
[personal profile] musesfool
You know, I've lived at my current address for nearly 15 years(!!!) and for the most part, Amazon, via FedEx, UPS, and the USPS, has never had a hard time finding me. Until this week. Suddenly packages are being "rerouted" after being sent to the wrong facility(!?) or they've been delivered "to my mailbox" when in fact they 1. wouldn't fit in the mailbox and 2. have not appeared in the vestibule or hallway of my building, where such things are usually left. I can't imagine someone, upon opening their stolen booty of roller bottles and tiny gift bags, made toddler fists of glee, so I have to think the box wasn't stolen so much as it just...wasn't delivered as promised. (I mean, I suppose someone out there did in fact get gleeful over the contents of the box - stranger things have happened - but it does seem kind of far-fetched. Unlike the times my order from LUSH went missing. At least that was worth stealing.)

Amazon refunded me and told me to reorder and they would pay any shipping costs (hilarious because I have Prime so there are no shipping costs) but it's just inexplicable that this has happened twice within a week. My address has not changed! It's not wrong in my profile! So I don't even know what's going on.


In other news, boss1 said something interesting to me the other day when she was offering condolences, that now with my father gone, we'd get back the younger version of him in our memories. And I was telling L about it, because I've been thinking a lot about it.

It's true that the declining years are top of mind right now, and that's why people telling older stories is so important - he wasn't just an occasionally querulous old man with no short-term memory - he was an active member of his community for a long time, he was loved by his family members, and thought of warmly by his co-workers and friends. He did a lot of quiet good in his way for the people in his life, even if he sometimes seemed overly-strict or demanding with us. And I guess that's the man I want to think of, the one who used to send cheery good morning texts every day, who always made us feel like he wanted us to be happy above all - even if he didn't understand what we claimed we needed for that, he wanted us to have it.

I want to remember how he was always ready to believe in the best of us, and bail us out even when we didn't live up to that (I don't mean actually bailing us out of jail - we never had that experience! but with teachers and other school authorities etc. I will never forget his firm insistence of "My son wouldn't do that!" when he got a call saying my brother had been found passed out drunk in the hotel hallway on the school ski trip. And he never yelled at my brother for it - he just made him pay back the cost of the trip over time, since he was sent home the morning after he arrived without ever even making it onto the slopes. As he later said, he figured the humiliation of being sent home like that and missing out on his trip was punishment enough).

He made his share of mistakes and left us with some annoying baggage, but overall, I think he did way more good than harm in the end. At least, that's how I'd like to remember him.


such a lot of world to see

Mar. 22nd, 2017 11:20 am
musesfool: iconic supergirl (up up and away)
[personal profile] musesfool
Oh, I forgot to mention Jane the Virgin in my post yesterday, but I thought it was a good episode - I just enjoy the show so much but sometimes I don't have anything to really say about it.

I got a late start on watching The Flash because L and I went to dinner, since she was away thus hadn't been around since my dad died, and I think it was good to watch it without commercials. spoilers )


now i try to be amused

Mar. 21st, 2017 11:07 am
musesfool: iconic supergirl (up up and away)
[personal profile] musesfool
spoilers )

Star Wars Rebels
While I didn't love the droid episode - I generally skip the droid-centric episodes - the Annie Get Your Gun interlude made me laugh out loud. If you can't dig two droids reenacting "Anything You Can Do," you must have something cold and dead inside.

And then there was Twin Suns. spoilers )


Back at work. 161 emails to sort through. *cringe*


Roundup and junk

Mar. 19th, 2017 08:13 pm
marks: bunny (Default)
[personal profile] marks
I’ve been writing up a storm lately, and it’s resulted in a lot of actual fic. Here’s a round-up, in case you don’t follow me on Tumblr or Twitter.

* Selfishness Must Always Be Forgiven, ACCA 13-ku Kansatsuka, Jean/Nino, Explicit, 5550 words - Set after episode 8, Jean tries to get Nino to realize their relationship is different from what Nino thinks it is.

* Without You, ACCA 13-ku Kansatsuka, Jean/Nino, Mature, 630 words - Set during episode 10, Jean does some stuff in front of an open window.

ACCA’s my new obsession, and before you can ask, no, it doesn’t stand for anything. But it has one of the best should-be-creepy-but-somehow-isn’t relationships I’ve ever seen, which is totally my jam, and has a surprisingly interesting main plot about politics and bread. If you’re at all interested in it, I recommend watching before reading my fics because they’ve both got huge spoilers. It's streaming on Crunchyroll, there are only two more episodes left, and I’m already grieving it ending.

* Detoxicated, Yuri!!! on ICE, Phichit/Chris, Victor/Yuri, implied other permutations therein, Mature, 1640 words - Phichit cracks the glass on his phone because of a literal run-in. Confession time: I also broke my phone recently, about a week before I wrote this, so there’s the very complicated writing inspiration process for you.

* A Lot of Heart, Prince of Tennis, Inui/Kaidoh, General Audiences, 5850 words - Inui gets recruited by the baseball team and actually quits tennis. Yep, writing in this again and having a great time, just deal with it.

And not mine, but for me because I'm very lucky: [personal profile] prillalar's Yuri on Ice tennis AU fanart is a thing of beauty. Oh, you didn't know Hal was an artist, too? You've been missing out.

In not-fic linking stuff, I’ve picked up a bunch of shows lately: March Comes in like a Lion, Powerless, Riverdale, Haikyuu!! (why so many exclamation points, anime?). Plus, [personal profile] barnacling and I did a trade off Skam and ACCA, so I’ll watch Skam after I finish Haikyuu. Though if I understand things correctly, I’m only supposed to watch one season of that? I don’t know how Norwegian shows work.

Also, I had most of last week off because of spring break from school, a vacation day, a snow day, and a day when my office was closed, which explains my “productivity” and I’m not looking forward to getting back to my regular packed schedule tomorrow. However, I’ve been sticking to a write for at least 15 minutes a day plan even on my normal days, and that produces around 500 words a day. So many words! I’m practically Stephen King.
prillalar: (Default)
[personal profile] prillalar
Wrote this for the YOI White Day Exchange! Meant to be fluffy and fun. :)

I'll Be There for You (2619 words) by Halrloprillalar
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Phichit Chulanont/Katsuki Yuuri
Characters: Phichit Chulanont, Katsuki Yuuri
Additional Tags: Friends With Benefits, Dancing, mild drinking, Clubbing, Detroit

Yuuri shivered. "You should have let me bring my jacket."

"You don't want people to think you're the kind of person who cares more about comfort than looks," Phichit said.

Pre-canon, Detroit. Yuuri and Phichit go clubbing and get to know each other a little better.


Also produced this amazing fanwork, a stick-figure YOI Yuuri/Victor Tennis AU comic which you can view in all its stick-figure-y glory on Tumblr!

but now you're in my way

Mar. 19th, 2017 09:32 am
musesfool: the ocean (your ocean refuses no river)
[personal profile] musesfool
It was hard, Friday and yesterday. I don't have anything profound to say about it - it's just hard. I don't remember crying so much at the wake for my mother, but I think that was partly because we were all trying to support my dad, and also I don't think I fully processed everything until afterwards. This time, with the shock of seeing him last Friday night and also having had the experience with my mother, it was all too real and final without the shocked disconnect of "wait, what? what?" to insulate me from the reality of it. I was like holy shit, we're orphans now! Which is an utterly ridiculous sentiment to have at 46 years old, but nonetheless, it's just us now.

I mean, two Sundays ago I was visiting him in his room at the rehab facility, watching Star Wars! And now he's gone. (At least he got one more year of St. Joseph's pastries - my sister-in-law brought him one while he was in the rehab place. I think I'd have to go down to Ferrara's to find one today. I don't know that Agata and Valentina has them. I might have to go look.)

My niece wrote and read a really sweet and heartfelt poem at the wake and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. We told stories about him, and it's always so nice to hear from other people's perspectives how liked (even loved) he was - I think because the past couple of years saw his decline cognitively, it's hard to remember that most people hadn't seen that, that they were still used to the man who didn't talk a lot but who usually had good advice or an unexpected flash of humor in conversation.

One of my cousins had a picture of him holding her when she was a year old (and he was ~17) - she said for some reason she'd always carried the picture and just transferred it from wallet to wallet over the years, and she showed it to us and it was a really lovely photograph not just for the memories, but also because it was in brilliant color and hadn't faded at all - it looked like it could have been taken ten years ago instead of 60+.

Considering that neither of them knew him, I thought the priest at the funeral mass and then the priest at the cemetery both did a really good job of talking about him - the three of us have somewhat conflicted or even contentious relationships with the church, but my dad in his day was a lector (he used to love doing the Easter vigil mass with the seven readings? And I have very vivid memories of him practicing the reading from Exodus about pharaoh's chariots and charioteers) and a Eucharistic minister and he was at one time an active member of both the K of C and the Holy Name Society, and he still said his prayers every night - when we were picking the text for the memorial prayer cards my brother was like, "The prayer of St. Francis. He said it every night." and my sister was like, "How do you know that?" and my brother was like, "his bedroom was next to mine. I could hear him!" So that was an easy choice. (I mean, I think we would have chosen it anyway? I think we also chose it for my mother? Because it's a great prayer. Just like we were in basic agreement about the songs for the mass. though I must complain about them changing the wording on certain prayers and responses. My niece was like, they do that to catch out people who haven't been to mass in a while and I don't appreciate being called out like that, but I was like, why would you change a beautifully composed response like "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed" to "I am not worthy to have you under my roof etc." I mean. It's more literal, sure, and more colloquial, but it's mass! It should retain some grandeur of language! Otoh, the cues are the cues, and though I haven't regularly attended mass in fifteen years, I still knew when to sit/stand/kneel because you don't erase all those years of Catholic school and mass attendance. It's just drilled into you. We were talking about how when we were in grammar school, we went to mass every morning during Lent, and my nieces and nephews were like, EVERY MORNING!!! and we were like, yeah, and you just prayed you got Father Gordon, who could bang out a mass in fifteen minutes on a good day, and not Father Vogel, who liked to drone on and on - though I'll be honest, it's Father Vogel's voice that comes back to me when I mouth along with the Eucharistic prayer during the consecration. And also his homilies were always the same 'I do always what is pleasing to the will of my Father.' gosh, it must be thirty years since I heard the man say mass and yet.)

And both the meal between viewings on Friday and the lunch after the funeral yesterday were good celebrations of him, and of our connections with each other, both family and friends. I mean, that's what all this is for, right? The person is gone, all of the other stuff is to help us process our grief and trade stories about them.

We had asked to have the prayers at the grave site, but the cemetery made us do it in the chapel, and my sister and niece were both extremely upset about this (I mean, I was also upset, but it was cold so I was okay with being inside for it) but then, in an example of what my brother-in-law insists is divine providence (not that he used those words), the limo driver couldn't figure out how to exit the cemetery so we were driving around, knowing we had to head north and east, and as we finally pulled up to the exit near the railroad tracks, my sister looked over and was like, "There it is! That's our plot!" and you could see the workmen lowering the casket off a truck and onto whatever they use to put it in the grave. So that was unexpected but good - my b-i-l was like, "that had to be your father. you know he would have been like, 'watch and make sure they put me in the right spot!'" So. Whether you believe in that stuff or not (and I am skeptical but open to the possibility), it makes for a good story.

Anyway, please don't feel obligated to comment. I appreciate the comments I've received already more than I can possibly express, especially since I don't think I'm going to be up for responding yet. Hopefully we'll return shortly to our regular programming of complaining about work and talking about TV shows.




Mar. 17th, 2017 02:41 pm
karzilla: a green fist above the word SMASH! (Default)
[staff profile] karzilla posting in [site community profile] dw_maintenance
Thanks to everyone who let us know that Photobucket images were not loading properly on some pages. The problem seemed to be mostly limited to HTTPS requests; Dreamwidth maintains a list of known high-traffic image sites that support HTTPS, so that our secure content proxy service doesn't cache them unnecessarily. Unfortunately Photobucket seems to have recently changed their site configuration such that HTTPS requests aren't being served as expected, and we've now taken it out of our list of "proxy-exempt" sites.

If you continue to have issues, make sure you're not using HTTPS Photobucket links. It's a bit counterintuitive, but if you use HTTP instead, it will be automatically transformed on our end to an HTTPS link that uses p.dreamwidth.org.

Hope that clears everything up for now! Let us know if it doesn't...
musesfool: girl with flowers (the sweetest thing)
[personal profile] musesfool
Again, thank you so much for your lovely comments and kind words. When a couple of people said they were worried that I was dealing with this alone on Tuesday (because of the snowstorm), I was able to quite truthfully say I was not alone at all. ♥♥♥

Yesterday, we went and made the arrangements, and it was pretty stress-free as these things go. I think it helps that we all get along and don't really disagree on a lot in terms of how this stuff ought to go? My father would not have wanted a lot of fuss and so we're keeping it simple in tune with that.

My brother was telling us that the cardiologist who had seen him on Friday night when he was admitted to the hospital called him on Tuesday to offer sincere condolences. According to my brother, he ended up consoling the doctor, who was like, "When I saw your father on Sunday, I couldn't believe it was the same man I'd examined on Friday. We had a conversation! He was improving in all ways, every indication was we were bringing him back! So to find out on Tuesday that he was gone was a shock." And my brother was like, "To us too!" But as we joked, he died doing what he loved - eating. (I believe I mentioned he was having trouble swallowing? And they did the swallowing test and said he should have soft food and thick liquids, and they believe he aspirated on his breakfast and that's what killed him. Not that he didn't still have all the other problems to come back from.)

Also showing that our minds run along similar tracks for some things, when this all started, I was like, "oh shit, I better replace the money I took from the savings account where the proceeds from the sale of the house were deposited, because if he has to go into a nursing home, they're going to come looking for it!" And my brother was like, "watch him survive for the next ten years in a nursing home! the money was two years from being free and clear!" And when I mentioned to my sister that once all the dust was settled I would start looking for a condo using the house money, she was like, "when Dom told me he coded and came back, I thought, the money is free and clear for vic to use! and then it wasn't!" But now it is. Sigh.

All of which is to say, if you live in the US and your parents are getting up there in age and they own a house or have retirement savings etc., you might want to start thinking about how to manage that so that if something happens and they do require institutional Medicaid, their retirement money doesn't just get funneled into paying for a nursing home. (see Medicaid's Asset Transfer Rules and obviously consult with a lawyer as I am not one nor do I play one on the internet. I'm just speaking from personal experience here.)

My father was usually on top of this sort of thing - he managed it with his own mother etc. - but for some reason, even though he told me all the time that he was going to transfer the house to my name so that it couldn't be touched under these circumstances, he never actually did it. So when we sold the house in July 2014, even though the money was all transferred to an account in my name, if he'd needed a nursing home before July 2019, the govt would have come looking for it and so while I dipped into it from time to time to cover expenditures (mainly my new laptop and iPad), I generally paid it back just in case. Now, once the funeral expenses are covered, I should be able to start looking for a place to live/buy. That's one thing I can say for sure I know both my parents wanted for me (the reason I get the house money instead of it being split three ways is because my brother and sister both own houses - he discussed this with all of us and they've been supportive of the idea because the one think I've said repeatedly is that I don't want to fight about money.)

Anyway! The point is, things happen, especially when people start getting older, so be prepared.


some have gone and some remain

Mar. 14th, 2017 11:52 am
musesfool: Death of the Endless, captioned "I was there, too, before everything else" (what everybody gets)
[personal profile] musesfool
Unlike last time, as soon as the mayor announced that the NYC schools were going to be closed today for the storm, the bosses announced that we also would be closed. So I was excited to get to sleep in without an alarm/having to check to see if we were open.

I woke up at about 8:45 and about an hour later, my brother called to let me know that dad died this morning. They said it was peaceful. Which. I guess is what you want.

While he had a lot of battles to fight, he seemed pretty lively on Sunday afternoon when I saw him, and my sister reported yesterday that he was pretty feisty, so even though it's not necessarily unexpected, it's still kind of a shock.

I think being stuck here - the weather means that none of us can really go anywhere or do anything re: arrangements yet - is making it weirder. When my mother died, I got the news, packed a bag, and headed straight to Penn Station. Today, I'm just sitting here refreshing tumblr and absorbing the news, wondering what happens next. Maybe it's healthier than rushing around trying to accomplish things. I don't know. I keep stopping what I'm doing to cry.

Anyway, after today, I'll likely be scarce for a few days so thank you in advance for any kind thoughts or condolences. I really appreciate it, and all the comforting words on my previous posts, even if I haven't been able to respond to it all.


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