mousapelli: (ella fitzgerald)
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Track 10: Beat City
Fandom: Ocean's 11 [Danny/Rusty]
Rating/Warnings: PG for anything Rusty does with his mouth and a stick.
Summary:

Beat City, downtown
(beep beep)
Beat City, I watch you tumble down

--Flowerpot Men



Track 10: Beat City

Minnesota isn't treating Daniel Ocean very well.

The spacious skies are making him agoraphobic, the waving grain is making him queasy, the carnies are filling him with a sense of 'there but for the grace of Saul,' and Rusty is eating a corn dog slower than any man should do anything that involves a little pointy stick.

"What did Saul say?" he asks, crossing his arms so that they hide the T-shirt that Rusty had won for him at the dart throw after a kid threw up on him on the Tilt-A-Whirl. The shirt reads "Come fall in love with a loon." Danny may never eat cotton candy again.

"Said the guy's here somewhere." Rusty shrugs and bites another piece of corndog off. He points the little stick at the shirt. "That's the state slogan, you know. They had a contest."

"Here somewhere?" Danny looks around at the roughly five thousand people enjoying the great American pastime of eating things on sticks.

"He said we should try the kebob stand," Rusty comments, finally, finally finishing the corndog. He flips the stick into a nearby trash can. "You know, I could kind of go for a kebob."

Two kebobs later, they have still not found the guy, Danny has been forced to ride the Ferris Wheel, and Rusty has moved onto the spaghetti on a stick.

"This is ridiculous," Danny says. "We're never going to find this guy. Are you sure Saul didn't say anything else?"

"You know, you'd think that when you bit it, it would fall apart." Rusty examines the spaghetti minutely, and Danny fights down the urge to snatch it out of his hands and stick it in his ear. "They must coat it in something, do you think? It's like a mystery of nature."

"Robert, focus." Danny puts his hands on Rusty's shoulder. Rusty takes another bite and regards him thoughtfully as he chews. "If we don't show up in Phoenix with two-point-eight million dollars in diamonds by 9:15 AM tomorrow, we're going to get mailed back to Jersey in eight-by-eleven mailers!"

"Bubblewrap mailers?" Rusty asks, then wards Danny off with the spaghetti-stick when he bares his teeth. "Relax, Daniel. Everything's cool. Look, let's split up, okay? We'll cover more ground that way."

Danny spends the next forty-five minutes looking at a lot of flannel and polyester, but no blood diamond contact, and his spirits are ebbing dangerously low when he finds Rusty again.

"Danny!" Rusty waves him over and points at the suspicious-looking man in fatigues who is loitering against the counter of the 'Guess the Pig's Weight' stand. "Look who I found!"

The man has at least five gold teeth, and Rusty has yet another stick-food that Danny has absolutely no desire to contemplate the origins of.

With the diamonds actually in his pocket as they saunter away, Danny feels much more relaxed, and even dares to ask what the hell Rusty is eating.

"Snickers bar." Rusty pulls the rest of the thing off the stick with his teeth and twirls the stick in between his fingers. "I think it was deep-fried. Hey look, there's snocones over there. Man, if you could get those on a stick here, you could make…ah, never mind."

"We're getting out of this state right now," Danny orders.

Date: 2005-09-24 02:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sociofemme.livejournal.com
ahahaha. and yet again my personal tragedies become comic fodder!

*dies* I'm so glad the minnesota state fair could provide us all with this sort of entertainment. :D

Date: 2005-09-26 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] formerlydf.livejournal.com
*snickers* Poor Danny, forced to suffer through a carnival. But spaghetti on a stick? I didn't know there was such a thing.

I liked Danny calling Rusty "Robert"; I thought it added an element of "parent getting annoyed at their child." And Rusty is like a kid. I almost get the feeling that if he didn't have his own money he'd be saying, "Danny, can you buy me a corndog? And a Snickers bar? And can I play that game?" And just generally being extremely whiny. Just to make Danny squirm, of course.

You had them so in-character I could scream. Or just laugh forever, because this was hilarious.

~DF

Date: 2005-09-26 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] avon7.livejournal.com
Spaghetti on a stick? Wow! I liked the banter. BTW - are you sure about kebob? In Australia it is spelt kebab although pronounced kebob.

Date: 2005-09-26 01:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dancinguniverse.livejournal.com
I was just at the MN state fair last week! This is excellent! Man, some jokes just never get old. The "What else could we put on a stick and sell it at the State Fair?" joke is one of them. This was great, and made me laugh so much, because it's all so very true.

I <3 this.

You know, thinking about it though, there should really have been something about the butter sculptures. They were my favorite part.

Date: 2005-09-26 02:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marinarusalka.livejournal.com
Hee! Exasperated!Danny is too adorable for words, and Rusty's succession of bizarre stick foods made me simultaneously queasy and giggly. What a fun fic! :-)

Date: 2005-09-26 03:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] annaalamode.livejournal.com
yum, deep fried snickers bars.

yum, Rusty eating deep friend snickers bars.

You fill my days with happy thoughts.

Date: 2005-09-26 08:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceares.livejournal.com
Cute! I'm slowly discovering Oceans11 fics and it's pleasing me to no end. I thought my little scribble was the only one out there. I love Rusty's food obsession, and you did a very funny job with it.
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