Operation Site Anniversary: Hour Three
Jan. 28th, 2004 11:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousapelliWell, we did two fun, guess I'll throw one of the darker ones in there.
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stellamaru who wanted Remus-centric fic, Post OotP
Avoidance Tactics
The summer after, Remus did everything in his power to avoid Harry.
It was easier than it sounded, given that they lived in the same house. 12 Grimmauld Place was big and winding enough that you could live there and not see anybody else if you chose, much less avoid a single person.
Molly harped at him about it, of course, but much more subtly than she ever did with That Other Person Who Used To Live Here Whose Name Nobody Said Anymore Not Ever Especially Not In Front Of Remus.
"SIRIUS!" he'd wanted to shout in the middle of breakfast one morning. He'd wanted to get up on the table and jump up and down and yell "SIRIUS SIRIUS SIRIUS!" just to see what they all would do.
He didn't of course, he'd used up all his violent impulsiveness in the years after Sirius had been gone the first time, done things to people that would make Kingsley Shacklebolt's hair not only turn white but fall out if any of them knew about it.
Moreover, he didn't because he was sure they wouldn't do anything, just pat him on the head and whisper to each other how Remus was grieving and Remus needed time to heal and it was all part of the process, and Remus would have to murder them all because he just couldn't take it another second, all of them transposing their own grief onto him.
He'd run out of grief a long time ago.
But Harry…Harry Remus couldn't deal with. He couldn't before, and he couldn't now. Everyone who saw him lately seemed like they were trying to silently urge him to pick up where Sirius had left off as Harry's godfather, he could practically see them mouthing the words "you're all he has left", but it wasn't true, Harry had loads of people, he just didn't want them.
"Is it because he looks like James?" Tonks had asked, the only person to come out and say anything out loud to Remus' face.
"No," Remus had answered, and he wasn't lying.
Fifteen years ago, it had been because he looked too much like James, by the time he was back from his three-year Trip To Nowhere that nobody knew about, he couldn’t bear to look a picture of Harry, much less the real thing.
But he'd gotten over that, even before he'd been Harry's teacher for a year, just let it fade away like everything did from Remus eventually.
And really, Remus rationalized, it wasn't like he'd be a very good godfather, not like Harry even probably wanted him to replace Sirius, not like after refusing to do the job for all this time he ought to even try.
These days, it hurt when Harry shouted at Molly, not pushed his glasses up his nose. When he gave Ron a black eye, not when he mussed up his hair worse than usual.
These days, Harry looked a lot more like Sirius than James.
For
stellamaru who wanted Remus-centric fic, Post OotPAvoidance Tactics
The summer after, Remus did everything in his power to avoid Harry.
It was easier than it sounded, given that they lived in the same house. 12 Grimmauld Place was big and winding enough that you could live there and not see anybody else if you chose, much less avoid a single person.
Molly harped at him about it, of course, but much more subtly than she ever did with That Other Person Who Used To Live Here Whose Name Nobody Said Anymore Not Ever Especially Not In Front Of Remus.
"SIRIUS!" he'd wanted to shout in the middle of breakfast one morning. He'd wanted to get up on the table and jump up and down and yell "SIRIUS SIRIUS SIRIUS!" just to see what they all would do.
He didn't of course, he'd used up all his violent impulsiveness in the years after Sirius had been gone the first time, done things to people that would make Kingsley Shacklebolt's hair not only turn white but fall out if any of them knew about it.
Moreover, he didn't because he was sure they wouldn't do anything, just pat him on the head and whisper to each other how Remus was grieving and Remus needed time to heal and it was all part of the process, and Remus would have to murder them all because he just couldn't take it another second, all of them transposing their own grief onto him.
He'd run out of grief a long time ago.
But Harry…Harry Remus couldn't deal with. He couldn't before, and he couldn't now. Everyone who saw him lately seemed like they were trying to silently urge him to pick up where Sirius had left off as Harry's godfather, he could practically see them mouthing the words "you're all he has left", but it wasn't true, Harry had loads of people, he just didn't want them.
"Is it because he looks like James?" Tonks had asked, the only person to come out and say anything out loud to Remus' face.
"No," Remus had answered, and he wasn't lying.
Fifteen years ago, it had been because he looked too much like James, by the time he was back from his three-year Trip To Nowhere that nobody knew about, he couldn’t bear to look a picture of Harry, much less the real thing.
But he'd gotten over that, even before he'd been Harry's teacher for a year, just let it fade away like everything did from Remus eventually.
And really, Remus rationalized, it wasn't like he'd be a very good godfather, not like Harry even probably wanted him to replace Sirius, not like after refusing to do the job for all this time he ought to even try.
These days, it hurt when Harry shouted at Molly, not pushed his glasses up his nose. When he gave Ron a black eye, not when he mussed up his hair worse than usual.
These days, Harry looked a lot more like Sirius than James.
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no subject
Date: 2004-01-28 04:05 pm (UTC)Even though I knew it was coming, that last line really hurts.
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Date: 2004-01-28 05:07 pm (UTC)I'm writing a lot of random things for this, and this is one of the only ones that I truly believe in, one of the only ones that isn't just for fun.
Halfway through OotP I was already saying to myself that Harry was more Sirius than James; you can't tell me that Remus wouldn't see it too.
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Date: 2004-01-28 05:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-28 07:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-28 08:33 pm (UTC)---- *wails*
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Date: 2004-01-28 09:01 pm (UTC)And you thought the angst could possibly distract me?
"SIRIUS!" he'd wanted shout in the middle of breakfast one morning.
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Date: 2004-01-28 11:29 pm (UTC)...wait and see.
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Date: 2004-01-29 12:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-29 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-29 02:41 am (UTC)(Also, I loved the device you used at the beginning, where you first shirked away from saying Sirius's name and then immediately yelled it out loud, numerous times. That was a great idea.)
The last few lines killed me. I can totally understand what Harry was thinking, even though it's not his POV. It's like this hurt him harder than anyone. It's so sad, not in a crying kind of way, just in a way that really makes you think. Because it's how Remus deals with Harry dealing. It was absolutely brilliant, the whole fic, but the end especially. Excellent work.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-29 02:42 am (UTC)These days, Harry looked a lot more like Sirius than James.
Beautiful. Abso-bloody-lutely perfect. (And not just because it centers around one of my favorite coincidences. ;) ) I love the fact that Harry in OotP acts far more like Sirius than James, and it seems to work its way into all of my RemusMuses when writing Remus. This piece was a fantastic mutinous inner Remus voice.
Molly harped at him about it, of course, but much more subtly than she ever did with That Other Person Who Used To Live Here Whose Name Nobody Said Anymore Not Ever Especially Not In Front Of Remus.
"SIRIUS!" he'd wanted to shout in the middle of breakfast one morning. He'd wanted to get up on the table and jump up and down and yell "SIRIUS SIRIUS SIRIUS!" just to see what they all would do.
And yet Remus, being Remus, is so quiet and never gives in to these urges which is fascinating on its own.
This piece made me want to work on my Remus/Harry. I'm going to go do that now. Just. Wow.
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Date: 2004-01-29 09:56 am (UTC)That last line literally left me speechless, but you probably picked up on that seeing as all this comment has to offer is, 'Woah'.
These days, it hurt when Harry shouted at Molly, not pushed his glasses up his nose. When he gave Ron a black eye, not when he mussed up his hair worse than usual.
These days, Harry looked a lot more like Sirius than James.
Owch. And I've thought the exact same thing.
Oh, I'm going to like this fic-a-thon!
no subject
Date: 2004-01-30 05:14 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-03 06:35 pm (UTC)Yeah, he definitely has the anger management issues, the bad family life, etc.
I think Remus and Sirius were too close to see it in OotP - Sirius at least was projecting James onto Harry at moments (in a non-sexual way, let me be clear *g*), even if Remus knows him as himself from having taught him for a year - but I wouldn't be surprised if Remus is making those connections (though we'll never see it, because JKR shorts him, dammit.).
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Date: 2004-04-09 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-08 05:09 am (UTC)That was gorgeous.
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Date: 2005-04-13 10:48 am (UTC)JK likes parallels (although she doesn't let them get in the way of the story), and that one is one I like a lot, even if it hurts.
And it hurts so much more for Remus.
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Date: 2006-06-20 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 09:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-20 06:05 pm (UTC)Poignant and painful and oh so plausible.
Wow.