mousapelli: (gay apparel)
[personal profile] mousapelli
Well, I think [livejournal.com profile] siriuslythebest said it perfectly in his post tonight when he said "but you know everything has to end i guess moony says. moony has a saying too when i get like this he says, that was then sirius and this is now. so i guess that means i should stop thinking about then and always think about now so here i go thinking about now and NOW i am going to" but that is where the quote ends, because he was going to snuggle with moony and I am going to breakfast with Colin.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] sociofemme for the 24 hour idea and the soda run, to Colin for staying up with me until now, and to everybody who submitted ideas for me to write about. I had a BLAST!

our last fic is for [livejournal.com profile] nopejr who slipped in just under the wire with a request for a very, very odd pairing, which I can't tell you because it will ruin the story. I saved this one for last because I thought it was the funniest, but it might really just be disturbing, I'm not sure.

ten points to your house if you see the [livejournal.com profile] copperbadge reference.

Strap Yourself In

Draco Malfoy had wanted Hermione Granger since the day she had slapped him across the face in Third Year for propositioning her. Malfoys didn't get slapped, it just didn't happen.

Draco meant to have Hermione one way or another, after a challenge like that.

The resolution had not waned by the summer before Draco's Seventh Year, when Dumbledore cheerfully informed him that his army of social misfits was trying some sort of ill-advised Polyjuice spy mission and Draco would cheerfully donate lots of hair and then spend the summer locked in the Black family Mansion, or he would be finding himself a new boarding school.

Draco retorted that he didn't care one way or another, since he was fairly well sick of living in Malfoy Mausoleum with his parents, but if they wanted hair, they'd have to get it from his legs because they weren't touching his head.

Thus it was that a freshly-waxed Draco Malfoy sat across the table from the object of his affections, and spent a dinner exchanging insults, which those two minions of hers kept chortling at like idiots.

Draco did miss his minions a little bit.

He was positive that she returned his affections with equal fervor, if the glares she was returning him were any indication. He only had to wait until after everyone had gone to sleep to enact his perfectly planned seduction.

When the house was quiet, except for the creaking of the walls and the scurrying of doxies, Draco crept out of his room and made his way stealthily towards Hermione's, counting doors carefully. At the right door, he opened the door silently and slid inside; when he pushed the door shut behind him, the room was covered in darkness.

He made his way forward into the room carefully, feeling his way towards the bed, which he cracked his shin on hard very suddenly. Sucking in a breath to keep from screaming, Draco groped in the darkness for clues as to the position of the bed's occupant.

His hand first encountered a mass of tubular, squishy things, and it took Draco a long moment to recognize Muggle curlers by touch. He'd only seen them from afar at school; several of the girls wore them, but Draco was unsure why, speculating perhaps that they helped to frighten off rapists.

It certainly explains the usual state of Granger's hair, Draco thought as he crawled into the bed, now that he was oriented. The occupant of the bed shifted slightly, but didn't wake up.

Granger was a bit curvier than Draco remembered, but then again, her clothes weren't exactly cut for Parisian fashion models, so honestly it was anybody's guess what went on under them. Draco found lips and kissed them; they parted underneath his and Draco asserted control of the situation via his tongue.

There was some sighing and some shifting, some nightclothes pushed hastily out of the way, and Draco had already been inside Granger for more than few seconds before he realized that she was actually still dead asleep. He paused, thinking that perhaps this might be awkward if she should suddenly wake up.

Eh, cross that bridge when we come to it, Draco shrugged, and carried on.

Afterwards, Granger rolled towards the recumbent Draco, throwing an arm over him, and Draco took this as his sign to leave.

"You don't cuddle with Draco Malfoy," he told Granger affectionately as he extricated himself from her limbs and patted the top of her squishy head, "you strap yourself in and feel the G's."

* * * * * *

At breakfast the next morning, Draco was calmly eating his cereal when Granger rolled in and sneered at him as usual. Draco took this as a positive sign that if he played his cards right, he could get what he wanted from Granger at night without having to deal with all the schmoopy details of a relationship during daylight hours.

"Did you sleep at all, dear?" the insufferable mother of all those Weasleys asked, handing Granger a mug of tea. Draco let out a soft snicker.

"Some," Hermione said, eyeing Draco suspiciously when he snorted again. "eventually. Did you?"

"I did actually," Mrs. Weasley commented. "Arthur was snoring so badly, that I had to leave the room and go find an empty bed, but then I slept like a rock. I had strange dreams though."

"Oh?" Granger asked. "Nightmares?"

"Er, no," Mrs. Weasley went a bit pink and Draco eyed her with bland distaste as he took another bite of cereal. "Not nightmares, but they were very real…and then this morning, my curlers were all over the place, like someone had been running their hands through them!"

"Mm," Granger commented. "I ended up on the sofa."

With dignity and grace that bespoke of generations of proper Malfoy breeding, Draco shot cornflakes out his nose.

The pairing was Molly/Draco, if you didn't guess.

that's all there is! <3's to everyone!

Date: 2004-01-29 01:32 pm (UTC)
florahart: (Default)
From: [personal profile] florahart
Ahahahaha! Yes, that *is* an unusual pairing. Good grief.

Date: 2004-01-29 02:25 pm (UTC)
sophistry: (anotsu! feel his itto-ryu wrath!)
From: [personal profile] sophistry
*sodasnort*

PS: The [livejournal.com profile] copperbadge reference is, I believe, Draco 'propositioning' Hermione, from the Remus/Minerva fics.

Date: 2004-01-29 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nopejr.livejournal.com
Hahaha! Most excellent! Thank you!

Date: 2004-01-29 02:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marksykins.livejournal.com
"You don't cuddle with Draco Malfoy," he told Granger affectionately as he extricated himself from her limbs and patted the top of her squishy head, "you strap yourself in and feel the G's."

MAX POWER! :D

That was hilarious. Congrats on getting 24 done - now go collapse for a time.

Date: 2004-01-29 02:52 pm (UTC)
ext_18224: (My love for you cannot be restrained.)
From: [identity profile] novembersnow.livejournal.com
"You don't cuddle with Draco Malfoy," he told Granger affectionately as he extricated himself from her limbs and patted the top of her squishy head, "you strap yourself in and feel the G's."

BEST. LINE. EVER!

This is hilarious, and a terrific way to end your ficathon. It's been lovely to read these as they crop up on my friends page, and I think you're amazing for doing this for everyone. :D

Date: 2004-01-29 02:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laylah.livejournal.com
*so* fabulous! Yay!

With dignity and grace that bespoke of generations of proper Malfoy breeding, Draco shot cornflakes out his nose.

*dies*

Date: 2004-01-29 03:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cantabile.livejournal.com
I've started at the end and read this one first. If the others are as good and clever as this I have a treat to come! How did you managed to write so well after no sleep for at least 24 hours?

I loved the Draco lines - and the twist at the end.

Date: 2004-01-29 06:05 pm (UTC)
instantramen: a woman with black hair and white skin pouring water from a kettle (Squee!)
From: [personal profile] instantramen
SQUIIIIICK!

...but still so funny...

Completely typo-free once again! Huzzah! Brilliant, all of them! And Happy First Birthday to your site!

I'm out!

Date: 2004-01-29 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusinwax.livejournal.com
With dignity and grace that bespoke of generations of proper Malfoy breeding, Draco shot cornflakes out his nose

*ravishes* that was most excellent! hahaha.

Re:

Date: 2004-01-29 11:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mousapelli.livejournal.com
excellent work! Ten points for you.

Re:

Date: 2004-01-29 11:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mousapelli.livejournal.com
aw, thank you! I had a great time doing it, and I'm so happy evrybody enjoyed.

Re:

Date: 2004-01-29 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mousapelli.livejournal.com
hope you enjoy them (i'm reading all my comments backwards, so i don't know if you did yet) I confess that it didn't take me a full hour to write some of them, so 5 AM i essentially had everything written, i just had to hang out and wait to post.

however, i think it's obvious that this was written sometime in the wee hours of the morning. it's a bit twisted even for me.

Re:

Date: 2004-01-29 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mousapelli.livejournal.com
yeah, i felt the squick for this one as well, hence all the strangeness.

thanks so much for all your spot-checking! I should make us icons for this...

Date: 2004-01-30 02:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amanuensis1.livejournal.com
Oh, geez--the Draco-esqe turns of phrase! Hooray for the proper-breeding cornflakes-nose-shoot! This had me giggling all the way through.

(Freshly-waxed Draco. Hee.)

Date: 2004-01-30 04:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merrycontrary.livejournal.com
*madly applauds*
Amazing. Have just read all twenty four stories and they are each and every one a jewel. Congratulations, and Happy Site Anniversary!

24 hours of bliss

Date: 2004-01-30 10:33 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I was lucky enough to find your slash marathon and i will never forget it!!! Wonderrrrful!!!! Your Sirius/Remus MWPP era is flawless, and all the glitter makes me squee with endless delight. You're lovely!

Re:

Date: 2004-01-30 07:30 pm (UTC)
instantramen: a woman with black hair and white skin pouring water from a kettle (angel of proofreading)
From: [personal profile] instantramen
I'm just glad that, in the end, even Draco felt the squick. >D

Spot-checking is a handy little ability that, fortunately for all involved, I've chosen to use for good instead of evil. Comes from all the reading, I 'spect.

*spell-checks comment, just to be sure*

Date: 2004-01-31 05:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seremanwe.livejournal.com
Hi. Loved it. With dignity and grace that bespoke of generations of proper Malfoy breeding, Draco shot cornflakes out his nose. Gotta love Draco. In case you're wondering who in the world I am, I found your LJ through link-hopping and lissinthecity (https://www.dreamwidth.org/users/lissinthecity/)'s LJ. So there you have it. Another madly laughing fan.

Date: 2004-01-31 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toft-froggy.livejournal.com
*cackle*

A wonderful end to a wonderful ficathon. Brilliant idea, that was - I'm deeply admiring that you managed it. You deserve a medal of some kind. A golden replica of Dumbledore's Pants, perhaps?
Thanks for the distraction from my pain! I deeply enjoyed all the fics.

Date: 2004-02-01 02:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jiffy-spiffy.livejournal.com
Great job on them all -- quite an achievement, really! I always love reading your work, and with 24 of them, I was as happy as Larry. Whoever Larry is ...

Date: 2004-02-02 06:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ekaterinn.livejournal.com
I came here via [livejournal.com profile] cave_canem and I absolutely adored every ficlet, especially the glittery!MWPP ones. Neways, I just wanted to say that I thought they were all very good. ^_^

Date: 2005-03-03 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mousapelli.livejournal.com
lol, i was just retitling the fics in here, and noticed your comment! I'd forgotten that I knew you in passing so long ago.

it's funny how fandoms lead us in little circles with different people. If it weren't for you, i wouldn't be wallowing in the glory of KKM and Fullmetal Alchemist right now!

Date: 2005-06-09 10:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ccmom.livejournal.com
OMG! I got here from a list of unusual pairings, and I'll have to admit, this was one of them.

Great story. I loved the ending.

Date: 2005-06-20 07:53 am (UTC)
qem_chibati: Coloured picture of Killua from hunter x hunter, with the symbol of Qem in the corner. (A cat made from Q, E, M) (Default)
From: [personal profile] qem_chibati
XD Oh brilliant! o.o; I feel tired now, just contemplating a day of fanfic like that though. o.o; Amazing job!

Date: 2006-02-25 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ianships.livejournal.com
Omfg! I have had the worst day known to man, feeling down emotionally and physically (eugh never drinking again) this made me laugh so hard and has really cheered me up. I love you. Thank you. That was amazing. (And so were all the rest of course mmm Remus/Sirius)

*loves*

Date: 2006-11-29 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sushinase.livejournal.com
holy crap XD i was wondering the whole time because i didn't get the part where malfoy staid with the weasley's XD fantastic... oh dear

Date: 2008-06-20 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maroonladybug.livejournal.com
*cackle, cackle*
Methinks Draco is HELLILARIOUS!!!!!

Very good work, I adore you :)
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