some rat love
Dec. 9th, 2004 01:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousapelliJust something cute i wrote while taking a paper break today, not influenced at all by the rat snorfling in his sleep next to my foot on the couch. no, not at all. MWPP-era, post Animagus mastery.
Animal Magnetism
"And then I said to him, 'now you listen, if you even think you'll be taking me to Hogsmeade, you'll have to'…" The blonde coming up the stairs to the Gryffindor girls' dormitory paused mid-sneer to peer at the non-descript ball of grey fur snuffling the carpet.
"What's going on?" a dark-haired girl peered around the blonde's shoulder, her eyebrows raising when she saw what the hold-up was about. "Aw, what a cute rat!"
"Cute?" The blonde grumbled as she was pushed out of the way by the other girl. "Don't touch it, Laurie, that's vermin." Her frown deepened when Laurie bent to scoop the rat off the ground and cuddled him to her chest.
"He isn't vermin, Jessica," Laurie retorted. The rat was sprawled across her forearm while she scratched behind his ears with the other hand, its eyes already half-closed. "Look how tame it is! Someone must have lost their pet."
Jessica's expression of skepticism did not lessen at all as Laurie cooed nonsense at the rat and skritched its spine thoroughly. Rodents made her nervous, with their long teeth and creepy tails, and then the thing actually began to chatter its teeth. Who knew when it would attack?
"That means he's happy!" Laurie informed her condescendingly when Jessica voiced her concern. She bent her head to nuzzle the top of the rat's head. "You are happy, aren't you, such a cut ickle ratty…"
The rat was soaking up the attention like a sponge, chattering away with his eyes squeezed shut. When Laurie ran finger tips down to twiddle the fur on his side, the rat rolled over onto its back and threw its head back to lay in a boneless slump against Laurie's breast. Laurie giggled and scratched the rat's soft belly, and all the rat's paws curled in ecstasy.
"Aw, look, it's a boy! Aren't you a big, strong boy? Yes, you are!"
"Put it down already!" Jessica demanded, able to take no more and refusing to look at the evidence of the rat's gender. "Come on, it's nearly curfew, let's go!"
"All right, all right," Laurie sighed. Tucking fingers underneath the rats forearms, Laurie lifted the limp pet to her face and kissed him soundly on the nose before setting him back on the carpet. "Go on then," she gave the rat's rear a little push towards the stairs. "Go find your owner."
Laurie watched him waddle down the first couple steps before turning to skip off with Jessica.
"…so anyway, I said I wouldn't go to Hogsmeade with him if he were the last…"
******
"Oi, where's Pete got to anyway?" James asked, looking around the room from his bed.
"Haven't seen him since dinner," Sirius answered, not looking up from the essay he was pretending to copy from Remus as an excuse to sit too close to him at his desk. "Sneaky bastard."
"He said he was going out on a solo mission," Remus said, not looking up from the essay that he knew damn well Sirius had done yesterday.
"Almost curfew," James remarked, sitting up a little, "he'd better…"
The door banged open at that moment, making all three of them turn their heads.
Slouched against door was Peter, clothes rumpled, tie askew, hair mussed, eyes half-lidded, and smirking in satisfaction.
"I don't believe this!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Again?" Remus asked.
"How are you doing it?" James demanded.
Peter favored them with a superior, yet cryptic, glance for a long moment before speaking.
"Animal magnetism," he said at last, then yawned hugely. "I'm for bed, all knackered out, you know. Have a good night, lads."
The other three boys watched Peter saunter across the room and collapse into his bed, yanking the hangings shut around him. Everything was silent for a few beats.
"It's cause he's hung like a fucking…well, like a rat," Sirius grumbled, inching his chair closer while Remus was still looking over at Peter's bed.
No one asked what the low chuckle from behind Peter's hangings was about.
Animal Magnetism
"And then I said to him, 'now you listen, if you even think you'll be taking me to Hogsmeade, you'll have to'…" The blonde coming up the stairs to the Gryffindor girls' dormitory paused mid-sneer to peer at the non-descript ball of grey fur snuffling the carpet.
"What's going on?" a dark-haired girl peered around the blonde's shoulder, her eyebrows raising when she saw what the hold-up was about. "Aw, what a cute rat!"
"Cute?" The blonde grumbled as she was pushed out of the way by the other girl. "Don't touch it, Laurie, that's vermin." Her frown deepened when Laurie bent to scoop the rat off the ground and cuddled him to her chest.
"He isn't vermin, Jessica," Laurie retorted. The rat was sprawled across her forearm while she scratched behind his ears with the other hand, its eyes already half-closed. "Look how tame it is! Someone must have lost their pet."
Jessica's expression of skepticism did not lessen at all as Laurie cooed nonsense at the rat and skritched its spine thoroughly. Rodents made her nervous, with their long teeth and creepy tails, and then the thing actually began to chatter its teeth. Who knew when it would attack?
"That means he's happy!" Laurie informed her condescendingly when Jessica voiced her concern. She bent her head to nuzzle the top of the rat's head. "You are happy, aren't you, such a cut ickle ratty…"
The rat was soaking up the attention like a sponge, chattering away with his eyes squeezed shut. When Laurie ran finger tips down to twiddle the fur on his side, the rat rolled over onto its back and threw its head back to lay in a boneless slump against Laurie's breast. Laurie giggled and scratched the rat's soft belly, and all the rat's paws curled in ecstasy.
"Aw, look, it's a boy! Aren't you a big, strong boy? Yes, you are!"
"Put it down already!" Jessica demanded, able to take no more and refusing to look at the evidence of the rat's gender. "Come on, it's nearly curfew, let's go!"
"All right, all right," Laurie sighed. Tucking fingers underneath the rats forearms, Laurie lifted the limp pet to her face and kissed him soundly on the nose before setting him back on the carpet. "Go on then," she gave the rat's rear a little push towards the stairs. "Go find your owner."
Laurie watched him waddle down the first couple steps before turning to skip off with Jessica.
"…so anyway, I said I wouldn't go to Hogsmeade with him if he were the last…"
******
"Oi, where's Pete got to anyway?" James asked, looking around the room from his bed.
"Haven't seen him since dinner," Sirius answered, not looking up from the essay he was pretending to copy from Remus as an excuse to sit too close to him at his desk. "Sneaky bastard."
"He said he was going out on a solo mission," Remus said, not looking up from the essay that he knew damn well Sirius had done yesterday.
"Almost curfew," James remarked, sitting up a little, "he'd better…"
The door banged open at that moment, making all three of them turn their heads.
Slouched against door was Peter, clothes rumpled, tie askew, hair mussed, eyes half-lidded, and smirking in satisfaction.
"I don't believe this!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Again?" Remus asked.
"How are you doing it?" James demanded.
Peter favored them with a superior, yet cryptic, glance for a long moment before speaking.
"Animal magnetism," he said at last, then yawned hugely. "I'm for bed, all knackered out, you know. Have a good night, lads."
The other three boys watched Peter saunter across the room and collapse into his bed, yanking the hangings shut around him. Everything was silent for a few beats.
"It's cause he's hung like a fucking…well, like a rat," Sirius grumbled, inching his chair closer while Remus was still looking over at Peter's bed.
No one asked what the low chuckle from behind Peter's hangings was about.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-12-08 11:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 12:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 12:20 pm (UTC)and of course going more than 500 words without R/S is like living in the amazon and not getting any rain.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 07:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 12:29 pm (UTC)you understand him so well.
this is what living with a big, floppy, male rat will do for you. Mulciber is a simple creature of survival instinct wrapped in a furry coat of pure hedonism. And girls cannot resist him. even if they profess to hate rats, as soon as they see the little bastard's whiskers it's all "aww, wook at his wittle ears! and his wittle nose! and his wittle pink pawsies!" and then they cuddle him to within an inch of his life. and he just eats it up, like it's no more than his due.
plus, you know, genitalia like woah. so you know that Peter was getting all these girls while James and Sirius tried desperately to figure out the trick.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 12:35 pm (UTC)Is that rats in general or Wormtail in particular? I'm not familiar with rat genitalia. *g*
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 01:27 pm (UTC)but that's the joke though, that Peter must be really well-hung if his animagus form is a rat. So James and Sirius are ripping on him for being a rat, and meanwhile James' form makes it so that he freezes up around girls, and Sirius can't keep from rubbing up them inappropriately, and Peter just smirks quietly and pulls every girl in a ten mile radius.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 10:16 am (UTC)"pretending to copy from Remus" Aww, nice touch, that.
Squee!!!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 12:34 pm (UTC)Aren't you a big, strong boy?" *Dies laughing*
lol, but we do it, don't we? well, you have girls, but people are so uninhibited about the cute of their pets' bits, and it's no big deal...
...until you realize, no wait, this is really a person in a rat suit. and then it's suddenly incredibly creepy. go ahead and coo this at Jeff sometime, see what happens, i'll bet he'll be a lot more pleased by it than you are.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 12:42 pm (UTC)My hamster Padfoot had impressive bits himself, LOL.
I will definitely tell Jeff about your story. He'd love it. And no doubt he'll run around doing a rabbit impression or something.
♥
Date: 2004-12-09 12:30 pm (UTC)But! You forgot "rat" or whatever other noun you were going to use in The was soaking up the attention like a sponge...
no subject
Date: 2004-12-09 12:31 pm (UTC)Re: ♥
Date: 2004-12-09 12:52 pm (UTC)Anyone who doubts that Peter wasn't clever when he felt like it has apparently never had the extensive experience with rats that you've had.
or any rat for that matter, all male rats are like this. they are smart enough to know that they are cute enough to stick their furry little heads right in your ice cream bowl and you will not stop them.
ellen offered her rat the top of her stick of pocky the other day, and avery reached down to where the chocolate meets the pretzely bit and snapped the whole chocolate bit right off and TOOk IT. it was the funniest goddamn thing i have ever seen.
is your icon rubbing grapefruits on its face? *is perplexed*
Re: ♥
Date: 2004-12-09 01:02 pm (UTC)They're some sort of meat buns, I think. *digs out the manga file to check* Yeah. Steamed meat buns. One of the two characters is dreaming that the girl he liked in middle school was really the other character in a girl's uniform with steamed meat buns for breasts.
Re: ♥
Date: 2004-12-09 01:22 pm (UTC)buh? that's why manga is great. i'm not sure us socially uninhibited westerners could ever come up with something so random as that. "i used to like this girl...if it had been you though...in that uniform...mmhmmm...only with..with...MEAT! yes! You in that uniform with some meat....guhuuuuuh..."