Fic, Ya-Ya-yah, 2 of Us (x2)

[mousapelli]

Title: 2 of Us (x2) [Yabu/Hikaru/Shoon]
Rating/Warnings: PG for fics that freaking make their own author cry.
Summary: Yabu and Hikaru get to record a duo mini-album, Shoon gets to run interference.

AN: Lately, I've watched a bunch of old things at random, like Taipi's Shokura and the Y3 Summer Swimming Special, and every time I think that maybe I can watch old Y3 things without my heart hurting, I realize how much I miss the old songs, Shoon and Yabu's voices together, Taiyou's flail, Hikaru's total idiocy, and everything else.

I guess the truth is that I'll never be totally over it, but maybe that's okay, maybe it's okay to wallow in old mp3s and clips once in a while, because it hurts, but it feels good too, to remember how much I loved Y3 and still do, to see how all of them have grown up and improved and gone on, and that's what this fic is about. It's about nostalgia, which to teach you a little Greek comes from nostos (homecoming) + algea (pain). It hurts because you can't go back home, not really, but it's okay that it hurts because you remember why you want to go back in the first place, and it's even more okay when there are others to remember why along with you.

Long author's note is long. This is for swtjemz, who always wants Shoon, and for snowqueenofhoth who reminds me that juniors are like they've been and like they always will be. But mostly it is for puppeteer8, because she teaches me that there's no shame in being sad, because it doesn't mean that you aren't moving forward.


2 of Us (x2)

The moment Yabu and Hikaru could escape from practice after the announcement, the first call they made was to Shoon.

"He won't answer," Yabu warned with the phone pressed to his ear, while Hikaru leaned all over his personal space, bouncing on his toes. "He's on-set right now, I'm sure."

"We'll leave an obnoxious message!" Hikaru answered, leaning closer to yell, "Come on, come on!" at the phone.

"…Hello?" Shoon's puzzled voice came over the line, and Yabu planted a hand in Hikaru's chest to shove him back a few inches.

"Yo, Shoon!" he said, grinning despite the cool tone of voice he was affecting. Hikaru flailed his arms like a windmill at the phone, but Yabu kept him at arm's length, ignoring him. "How's the drama going?"

"It's awesome!" Shoon said immediately, and Yabu grinned even harder as Shoon babbled on, well-acquainted with the Shoon who was impossible to shut up. "Koyama-kun and I memorized all our lines during Shokura filming last week, and Nino-senpai's been giving me lots of acting advice, and…"

"WE'RE RECORDING A DUO MINI-ALBUM," Hikaru bellowed at the phone, unable to hold it in any longer.

"…said that Clint Eastwood…" Shoon paused. "What?"

Yabu sighed in resignation and handed Hikaru the phone. Hikaru shouted it again into the mouthpiece, waving his hands and bouncing on his toes some more as he told Shoon about the announcement Hey! Say! had just received, and Yabu maybe joined in just a little.

"…at least until Chinen and Ryutarou's voices settle enough to stop making the juniors cry," Hikaru finally ran out of breath. He shot Yabu a mischievous glance. "Even Yabu's bouncing with excitement."

Yabu stopped bouncing immediately. "I am not! It just looks that way because you're bouncing!" Hikaru rolled his eyes, but motioned Yabu closer to listen to the phone as well.

"…really did well during his friendship role!" Shoon was saying. "He and his hamster were perfect. Speaking of that, I have to get back to filming, but we should celebrate!"

"Yes!" Yabu and Hikaru agreed simultaneously, then Yabu shoved Hikaru aside to retake possession of his phone. "We've got more practice and a meeting about possible songs, but text me when you're through for the day, and we'll meet at the usual café, ne?"

"It's a date!" Shoon agreed right away, and Yabu snapped his phone shut.


"We'll be just like Tegomass," Hikaru was saying, hands fisted in glee and eyes full of stars and idiocy. "Just like Tackey and Tsubasa! Just like Kinki Kids!"

"There's the shortest trip on earth," Yabu rolled his eyes, but he was grinning too as he shoved Hikaru down the hall to practice.

*****

He was grinning a lot less by the time they showed up at the café to meet Shoon, however.

"Hey!" Shoon waved wildly when they came in. "I just got here, but I ordered us…" Shoon suddenly took note of Yabu's thundercloud expression and Hikaru's nervous glances as they sat down at the table. "…a round of…um, we are celebrating, right?"

"Yes!" Hikaru said immediately.

"Woohoo," Yabu added, glaring at the table.

A minute of silence passed, during which the waitress came with tea, and finally Shoon asked, "So you had a meeting…"

"We…talked about track listings," Hikaru started, eyes darting from Shoon to Yabu as if afraid Yabu was going to tackle him at any moment. "Nothing for sure, just a little, you know, professional back-and-forth…things were discussed…"

"Things like…" Shoon prompted.

Yabu began stirring his coffee rather violently, but still said nothing. Hikaru made worried eyes at Shoon, and Shoon offered an encouraging smile.

"Things like, you know," Hikaru hemmed, and Shoon propped his chin on his hand. "Solos, we talked about solos…and, uh, I'm going to write some of the lyrics, like I do…"

"Hikaru, that's wonderful!" Shoon exclaimed, making Hikaru beam with pleasure for a second before Yabu cleared his throat and Hikaru's shoulders slumped again. "Okay, now tell me why Yabu's trying to tunnel to America through the bottom of his cup."

"Well…" Hikaru's shoulders scrunched up even tighter and he stared at his hands. "There's the single, and our solos, but then after that…"

"They want us to do Ya-Ya-yah songs," Yabu finally spoke up, voice low and furious, and when he finally lifted his head to meet Shoon's eyes, Shoon's breath caught at the black glitter of them. "As a duo."

"Ah, is that so." Shoon put his cup of tea back down carefully, then flagged down the waitress to inform her that they were definitely going to need cookies.

"But we aren't doing it!" Yabu exclaimed.

"Yabu…" Hikaru said, reproachfully.

"We aren't!"

"What songs?" Shoon asked Hikaru, ignoring Yabu's outburst and his renewed tea-digging, and after a second, Hikaru looked away from Yabu as well.

"'Baby Babe,' 'Itoshi no Playgirl,' of course," Hikaru said.

Shoon nodded. "Of course. 'SummerxSummerxSummer?'"

"We talked about it." Hikaru took a bite of chocolate chip cookie, then just started flaking chips off onto his plate. "'Ima Susumou' and 'Just Wanna Lovin' You' we talked about. 'Te wo Tsunaide', but I think they want to avoid that because of…"

"Right." Shoon sipped his tea thoughtfully. "What about '2 of Us'?"

Hikaru blinked, then laughed. "You know, we forgot all about tha—"

"Will you two stop talking about it!" Yabu finally snapped, making both of them jump and drawing a few stares from others. "We aren't doing it! We told them we aren't doing it!"

"You…" Shoon's eyes widened.

"We told them we'd think about it," Hikaru corrected, sighing.

"We told them we aren't doing it!" Yabu just got louder. "And we aren't! I can't believe you're even thinking about it!"

"All I'm saying," Hikaru tried to get a word in edgewise, "is that maybe—"

"Oh, shut up!" Yabu snapped, and Hikaru closed his mouth. "I thought you'd hate this just as much as me, I thought you cared just as much as me, but clearly I was wrong, and you—"

"Yabu!" Shoon interrupted, shocked at the hurt on Hikaru's face. "Calm down, there's no reason to shout at Hikaru like that."

"Don't patronize me, Shoon," Yabu's scowl only deepened. "I'm not some junior anymore!"

"No, but I'm still your senpai!" Shoon's icy voice cut right through Yabu's momentum, bringing him up short. "And when you were a junior, you certainly knew better than to say things like that, or to take your childish temper tantrum out on a bandmate who's only trying to talk some sense into you! Now apologize!"

Yabu's eyes hardened. "I…"

"NOW." Shoon stared right back, crossing his arms. "I might be just a junior, but I can still kick your skinny ass from here to NHK Hall."

They glared at each other for a few long seconds, but in the end it was Yabu who dropped his eyes and apologized to Hikaru gruffly, cheeks red.

"It's fine," Hikaru said, but he didn't really look any happier for it.

"Now calmly," Shoon eyed Yabu some more, "tell me what the problem is."

"What the problem is?" Yabu looked up, and even though his jaw was still set angrily, the hurt in his own eyes was plain now. "I just told you they want Hikaru and I to put out an album using mainly Ya-Ya-yah songs, and you don't have any problem with that?"

"It's a good chance for you both," Shoon said. "They're songs that suit you, and you know them already."

"Otherwise, we'll have to learn all new songs," Hikaru added glumly. "We'll have practice forever, I won't have time to write anything…"

"And you won't sound as good in the end," Shoon finished, nodding. "When you do lives, you'll know the choreography."

"That's not what I'm talking about!" Yabu gave Shoon a pleading look. "They aren't duets! It's not right!"

"You did a few of them as duets before, early on," Shoon reminded him. "It was fine. It'll be like that."

"It won't be like that, and it isn't fine." Yabu shoved his tea away and stood up. He tucked his hands in his pockets and stared at the table while he spoke, quiet and rough. "Those songs are for four people, not two. They're Ya-Ya-yah's songs, not ours, and I'd rather sound awful singing something Hikaru scribbled on a napkin in ten minutes then sound like a really talented thief."

"Yabu," Hikaru tried, but Yabu had already turned away. He left the café without looking back, and Shoon sighed, seeing a much younger and more awkward Yabu in the angry hunch of his shoulders and the frustrated ball of his fists in his pockets.

"So much for celebrating," Shoon said, trying for a smile out of Hikaru, and Hikaru forced a wan one to humor him. It only held for a moment before Hikaru let it slip away again, face neutral as he thought.

Just like Shoon had been struck by how Yabu's emotion had made him look younger, now he was caught by how mature Hikaru suddenly appeared, how different from the Hikaru who only came up to Shoon's shoulder and used to laugh and cry at the drop of a hat.

But after a moment's thought on it, Shoon tucked the nostalgia back away, knowing that it wouldn't help anything.

"Shoon," Hikaru asked, bringing Shoon out of his thoughts, "is it really okay? With you, I mean. You don't mind?"

"I mind a little," Shoon admitted sheepishly, after Hikaru had stared at him evenly for a few seconds. "I'm jealous, and yeah, it hurts. But I want to see you do well more." He paused for a second. "And I really, really want a studio version of 'Baby Babe.'"

"Me too," Hikaru agreed, his smile small but for real this time, and he shoved a cookie in his mouth and for a few sweet, achy moments, it was just like before, Hikaru wheedling his favorite senpai to pay and Shoon allowing himself to be coaxed willingly.

"About Yabu," Shoon started when they were leaving, but Hikaru shook his head.

"I'll talk to him," Hikaru assured, giving Shoon a hopeful smile that was just a touch tired around the edges. "He'll come around."

"I know." Shoon clapped Hikaru on the shoulder, and they both let the touch linger longer than they should have before going their separate ways.

*****

Over the next two days, Hikaru tried repeatedly to bring the topic up with Yabu, but Yabu refused to say anything other than "Ya-Ya-yah is four people, not two."

"Sorry to bother you about it again," Hikaru said once he'd got Shoon on the phone. It had been quite a task, since both of them were practically too busy to eat, and now it was after midnight, both of them interrupting themselves with yawns. "But they want an answer Friday morning, so if I can't talk sense into him tomorrow…"

"It's fine," Shoon brushed off Hikaru's apologies. "I'm just not sure how much help I'll be, since last time he didn't want to listen to me either."

"He never listens to anybody," Hikaru sighed, and there was a thunk that Shoon assumed was Hikaru's head hitting his desk. "Brat. This is what we get for encouraging his crush on Akanishi-senpai. I wish they'd send him to study in America too, and then I could just come up with any tracklist that I wanted."

"Tracklist…wait," Shoon had a sudden burst of inspiration. "I think I have an idea. Where's your practice tomorrow afternoon?"

Hikaru told him, then added, "But you don't have to come the whole way down, you shouldn't waste your time when I don't know whether it'll do any good."

"I want to," Shoon answered. "I've got something I think you'll both want to see. See you tomorrow."

"See you," Hikaru echoed around another yawn, and then Shoon ended the call and immediately scrolled through his contacts for another number.

*****

"You found it!" Shoon exclaimed when he saw his other contact approaching with a triumphant grin. He hopped up from the bench he was sitting on in the subway station, both of them meeting for only a few minutes before going on their separate ways.

"I knew right where it was," Taiyou grinned, handing over a folded square of note paper, the edges ragged from being torn out. Shoon tucked it carefully into his pocket. "How's the drama?"

"It sucks," Shoon wrinkled his nose and pushed up his sleeve to show Taiyou his newest wound. "I got bit by the parrot yesterday. How's studying?"

"It sucks," Taiyou answered fervently, making both of them laugh.

They looked at each for a moment, but there wasn't much else to say, and Shoon reshouldered his bag at the same time Taiyou looked up to check the schedule.

"We should go," Shoon said for both of them. "But thank you. I'll let you know what happens."

"Any time." Taiyou watched Shoon thoughtfully for a second before adding, "Tell them I said they should do it. Or else I'll trip on Yabu and crush him to death."

"I'll pass it on," Shoon laughed, and he filed away Taiyou's brilliant smile to take along with him as well.

*****

Hikaru and Yabu knew the second that Shoon showed up in the Hi! Hey! Say! practice room, because across the room, Reon gave an undignified yell and nearly killed the junior next to him waving.

Yabu eyed Hikaru darkly as they got up from stretching on the floor to go over, and Hikaru just whistled innocently.

"…the same crossover as the one we practiced last week, just in reverse," Shoon was saying as they approached, demonstrating a little, while Reon and a handful of others squinted at him uncomprehendingly. "Maa, I can't show you alone. Ne, Yabu-kun, help me out?"

"All right, all right," Yabu grumbled as though it were an awful chore, but he slipped into step beside Shoon like they'd just been practicing it that morning, and they ran the step flawless and smooth on the first try. Shoon caught Yabu's eye and gave a little hiproll, making Yabu's step hitch, and Yabu narrowed his eyes and did a full bodyroll in response that made Shoon trip over his own feet laughing.

It made Hikaru's throat close a little, so he barreled in between them, announced that they were doing it all wrong, and did a flailing version of it that made all the juniors burst into giggles and got him slapped over the back of the head by both Shoon and Yabu.

"That's enough of that," Yabu announced, giving the juniors a stern eye. "Back to work, you all. Yuto, come over and make sure they don't slack off! You two clowns, you're coming to buy me a drink for interrupting practice."

"Ye~s," Shoon and Hikaru chorused, letting themselves be pushed out the door, and Shoon waved good-bye to Reon. Reon didn't notice, busy re-teaching the step correctly to the people on either side of him.

"Oh, wipe that idiotic grin off your face," Yabu shoved at Shoon's shoulder, but Shoon poked at the smile growing on Yabu's own cheek, and Hikaru pinched the other one, cooing about how cute Kotta-chan was until Yabu put him in a headlock.

Hikaru, unsurprisingly, failed utterly at jankenpon, and had to buy the drinks, and Yabu waited until they had all opened theirs and taken a sip before asking them to just get on with it already.

"It?" Hikaru made the most innocent face in the whole world. "Get on with what?"

Yabu sighed at him, and turned to Shoon instead. "I appreciate you coming down here, but I'm not going to change my mind."

"I have something for you to see." Shoon dug around in his pockets, then came up with the folded square of note paper Taiyou had given him. He handed it to Yabu, who raised an eyebrow before pulling it open and smoothing it flat against his thigh.

His expression softened when he got a good look at it. "This is…where did you find it?"

"Taiyou had it," Shoon answered, smiling as Hikaru wrapped an arm around Yabu's shoulders and leaned in for a look, his eyes widening.

"It's the tracklist for our cd!" Hikaru exclaimed, then more softly corrected himself. "For Ya-Ya-yah's cd, I mean."

"During Daibouken." Shoon nodded. "Do you remember writing it, in the hotel?"

They'd been high on concerts and two cases of assorted Fanta, plus something that Yamapi-senpai and Akanishi-senpai had sent to congratulate them and they had all agreed not to talk about afterwards. Somehow the topic had turned to Ya-Ya-yah's debut, and in the capsule of their hotel room at one in the morning, it had seemed so close and real, like they could touch it, and Taiyou had stolen Hikaru's lyric notebook with his longer reach and ripped out a page for Shoon to scribble song titles down on, Yabu and Hikaru shouting and waving their arms at each other and Hikaru spilling melon Fanta all over the hotel bedspread.

"Of course I remember. I couldn't drink Fanta for a month after that," Yabu murmured, brushing fingers over the words, like he could feel the rise of the ink. "'Baby Babe' was just about to come out, so we put it the third slot, our debut single."

"And you made us put 'START' in first," Shoon remembered.

"It's called 'START!'" Yabu rolled his eyes. "Where did you want to put it, moron?"

"Na, it's funny," Hikaru let his chin rest more comfortably on Yabu's shoulder. "But this list is almost exactly like…"

"Stop it, I can see what you're doing," Yabu interrupted, but he continued staring at the paper and his attempt to shake Hikaru loose wouldn't have dislodged a fly.

"Tell me why you don't want to use them," Shoon asked, and when Yabu looked up, it nearly broke Shoon's heart to see how sad and lost Yabu's eyes were.

"Because it'll mean that Hikaru and I are the only part of Ya-Ya-yah that mattered," Yabu said. "Because we aren't allowed to talk about Ya-Ya-yah, or the old show, or even be on the stage together, and if we do they just edit it out, and that's what they're doing, just editing you and Taiyou out, and I can't stand it!"

"Yabu," Shoon tried to comfort him with a hand on the shoulder Hikaru wasn't leaning on, but Yabu didn't even seem to notice, just went on pleading with Shoon with his dark, sad eyes.

"They want to make it like Ya-Ya-yah never existed, but it did!" Yabu's voice hitched, and Shoon had to swallow the lump in his throat. "And it wasn't just me and Hikaru. Shoon, I don't want it to be like Ya-Ya-yah didn't exist."

"You're being ridiculous," Shoon said, keeping his voice as even as possible and tactfully ignoring the way Hikaru was trying to sniffle quietly. Hurt flashed over Yabu's face, and Shoon tightened his hand on Yabu's shoulder. "You love these songs, we all do. And if you say no now, they'll never ask about them again. How will never singing Ya-Ya-yah's songs ever again make it like Ya-Ya-yah didn't exist?"

"I don't know," Yabu said, dropping his eyes to his hands, voice small. "But it hurts. A lot more than just being Hey! Say!'s Yabu does."

"I know," Shoon said. Hikaru gave up on Yabu at that moment and switched over to hug Shoon instead, and Shoon let him cling as tightly as he wanted, arm tight around Hikaru's shoulders. "But you should do it because it was our dream, wasn't it? I know it doesn't look the same as we thought it would, but it's still a good dream."

Yabu didn't answer and kept his head down, but he folded the note paper back up and tucked it into his pocket, and a wave of relief made Shoon tighten his grip on Hikaru.

"Thank you," he said. "But look, just promise me you'll get new solos, because 'Arashi no Carnival' just sounds like an advertisement for the senpai putting on a drag show."

"You're lucky they picked that," Hikaru spoke up from where his face was buried against Shoon's shirt, voice thick. "The other option was 'KAT-TUN no Orgy.'"

Shoon started laughing, voice cracking, and Hikaru was snickering, and then Yabu added, "'NEWS no Slumber Party,'" and Hikaru and Shoon both reached over to force him into the hug too, clinging tightly while he flailed and squawked.

"Let go! No hugging! You'll make me cry and we have to go back to practice!" Yabu wailed, and Shoon and Hikaru just squeezed him tighter.

By the time they did make it back to practice, Hikaru looked smug, Yabu looked mussed, the juniors all looked knowingly at Shoon, and Yabu gave them all a look that would have peeled the nail polish right off all of KAT-TUN simultaneously.

On his way home, Shoon sent a mail to Taiyou and told him that everything was going to be fine.

*****

Weeks later…

"Big brother!" Reon exclaimed as he dashed up to the car, thoroughly gleeful at the unusual pick-up from practice. He yanked the door open and slid into the passenger seat, clicking his seat belt on before he noticed that Shoon was fiddling with the plastic wrap of a cd. "New cd?"

"Mm," Shoon answered, and finally the plastic wrap all came off in a tangled spiral. He popped the case open before Reon could get a good look at the cover, and snapped the cd out, sticking in the car's stereo.

The opening line to 'START' played, and despite the tightness of his throat, Shoon started to laugh.

"Hey!" Reon blurted in recognition. "That's Yabu-kun and Hikaru-kun!"

"Yeah," Shoon said, but really he was thinking, no, it's us, and he let his eyes close for a minute and listened for the other two parts of the harmony that had to come from his heart rather than the speakers.

Except after a minute, Shoon realized that the harmony wasn't entirely in just his heart, and when he opened his eyes he found Reon singing Shoon's part along with the cd, and Shoon knew for sure that they'd made the right decision.

"Big brotheeeer," Reon whined at the end of the song, fidgeting in his seat and pushing buttons on the navigator. "Let's go already yo, ne?"

"Yeah," Shoon took a deep breath and felt light, "let's go on."

He'd call Yabu and Hikaru later, Shoon decided as the car pulled away from the curb, just to make sure that they knew as well.

Comments

[javiera.livejournal.com]

Wow. This is so sad.

I didn't knew much of Ya-Ya-Yah when I started looking around the JE bands. So many juniors got me confused and I was trying to lear all the names of the guys in the debuted groups first. Then the Hey! Say! kids showed up and I asked a friend to tell me about them and she told me about Yabu and Hikaru and I remember asking her "and what happened to the rest of their group? If they're so many kids why couldn't they be included too?" And she went on a rant about how life was so unfair sometimes :P

Even if I don't know much about the guys, you wrote this in a way that I could easily understood the situation and Yabu's feelings on the songs and Shoon acting as a senpai with his ex-bandmates once again. Really nice.

Great fic! Bittersweet, but as you said, even if it hurts to know you can't go back, the fact that that past is there and it was good makes the pain a lot more bearable.

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

It's not meant to be? but, yeah, it is, I suppose.

Y3 was the first junior group I ever learned, before ABC or Kisumai or anything, so they hold a special place in my heart. The truth about Y3's split, actually, is that it's entirely fair. Yabu and Hikaru were always the stars of Y3, even when Yabu was this tiny thing with a bowlcut. In summary 2004, Yabu has solos, and Hikaru wrote the lyrics for his own solos and Y3 songs.

It sucks, but it's fair. And I think anybody whose been involved in JE for more than a few weeks can sympathize with that, whether you're familiar with the group or not. Jemz is always ragging on me about loving the jrs, because we both know i'm just going to get my heart broken in the end, but in a way, that's why I love them so hard, because I'm never sure how long I'm going to get to love them for.

Sorry to ramble at you. Thanks for the comment, and I'm glad you enjoyed.

[javiera.livejournal.com]

It is sad, but at the same time I guess is not, cus moving on is never a bad thing.

And yeah, you're right. If Yabu and Hikaru were getting more attention and were better at it... still, leaving people behind just sucks. I started as a NEWS fan and the whole debacle on having Kusano and Uchi back or not is hard to deal with, cus they're doing just fine without them, but... There's always a but.

Now you got me interested in the jrs more. Even with eventual heart-break, is kind of awesome watch people better themselves, and, in some cases, move on. Do you know of any guide of who's who of the jrs? I don't think I even know all the names of the A.B.C. guys...

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

There's so many people who are in and out, the best thing you can really do is watch a whole bunch of Shounen club episodes, and watch them regularly. i didn't learn most of the juniors until I started that. Shokura's fun because it's all senpai songs and dancing and tiny short interviews and games, so even though they aren't usually subbed, it's easy to follow. Also, they put people's names on the screen, so if you can read some kanji you can learn them, otherwise you have to listen hard.

The games get subbed a lot though, and those are super hilarious. you can find random subs on kis_my_ft2 or shokura. i know the Tackey & Tsubasa intro don is subbed, and the one about Akun having his pudding stolen is too. But there's tons floating around.

ABC is Kawai, Totsuka (Tottsu), Tsukada (Tsuka), and Goseki. They're always in the games, and they're totally hilarious.

[javiera.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the links! I'm usually distracted by the big hair and the shiny costumes to pay attention to the names, but I do know some kanji so I will from now on.

And Tsukada! That's the one I'm always forgetting! Thank you!

[lai122486.livejournal.com]

That was sad but also a little therapeutic of some sort. It's been almost half a year now since HSJ split up the group, and as much as I would like to see them together again as Yayayah, I've resigned myself to the knowledge that it might never happen again since Taiyou is off JE. This fic kind of helps me to accept what is happening right now. I can actually see the guys having this conversation. Thank you! Pls. write more yayayah fics.

[procreational.livejournal.com]

JEMZ CALLED ME TO MAKE SURE I'D READ THIS.

MOUSAPI I THINK I AM CRYING. THAT MAKES IT THE THIRD TIME I'VE CRIED TODAY. I LOVE YOU. KIND OF. NO, WAIT, I HATE YOU.

TO QUOTE JEMZ, "IT'S THE KIND OF HURT THAT JUST FEELS SO GOOD."

I love the playlist. I love this. ♥♥♥♥

[ssm-kiyumi.livejournal.com]

Wow. This is amazing.
In some ways, it's sad, but it's mostly just nostalgic.
Although I only got into the fandom as HSJ debuted,
sometimes, I wish they hadn't, and that Ya3 had been the ones to debut.
And sometimes, I'm watching the old Ya3 shows, or old Shoukura, and I see how much Yabu and Hikaru were "favorited" over Shoon and Taiyou, and it makes me sad....
But yea. This fic was awesome.

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

It's hard to admit, as a Y3 fan, but they made the right choice with what they did. I'm just grateful Shoon seems so happy being free to do plays and things now.

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[quin-tessen-ce.livejournal.com]

I WAS TEARING UP BY THE END OF IT BUT I'LL TRY TO FOCUS ON THE HAPPY PARTS. I COULD QUOTE BACK THE WHOLE FIC BACK TO YOU BUT I WON'T, SAVE FOR THIS:

"…at least until Chinen and Ryutarou's voices settle enough to stop making the juniors cry,"

MWAHAHAHAH MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.

"I might be just a junior, but I can still kick your skinny ass from here to NHK Hall."

Or else I'll trip on Yabu and crush him to death.

"The other option was 'KAT-TUN no Orgy.'"

TEEHEE. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Yabu gave them all a look that would have peeled the nail polish right off all of KAT-TUN simultaneously.

O_O THAT MUCH POWER.

Great oneshot. I loved how it was in Shoon POV, and Reon's cameo and his singing along at the end was excellent. Though, isn't Yokaze a Arashi song? =( :doesn't know: And of course, the tracklist was just -- my heart goes flutter-flutter. ♥

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

Though, isn't Yokaze a Arashi song?
Um, is it? You could be right, I pulled it because in the very last Y3 ep that has a Y3 live, they all do solos, and those are the four they do. The other three are original solos, so I was figuring that Taiyou's was as well, but since he typically didn't have solos, it's entirely possible you are correct.

i cannot tell you what I would give for a full-length version of Bad*Nice.

Thank you! After everything, I still love all of Y3, and I want to support them doing whatever it is that they do.

[silverrangel.livejournal.com]

i was never a yax3 fan, because when they were still together i was distracted by kat-tun and news, and reading this makes me kind of glad. it's so sad, not only because of what happened but because of what could happen to all the other juniors - the hasshi trio and kisumai and abc and everyone who has been together for so long. it makes my heart ache, to think of what would happen if they got separated. especially because ya-ya-yah has proved that it can, and will, happen.

i love how this ends. it's so bittersweet, yet hopeful - they can never have what they once had, but they can make do with what they have now.

by the way, i love this line:

I know it doesn't look the same as we thought it would, but it's still a good dream.

oh shoon. ;___; ♥

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

that's how i feel about 4TOPS. I'm glad I wasn't here for that, because the exactly same thing would have happened to my heart. The truth is that no junior group has ever made it to debut unchanged, except for KAT-TUN. And KAT-TUN, i think we can all admit, was a trainwreck for a long, long time.

I fear for ABC and Kisumai, but it's okay, because I love them so hard because i'm not sure how long I'll get. I'm way more psyched to see both of them this summer than KAT-TUN, because KAT-TUN will be here for a while. You never know when the last Kisumai concert appearance will be.

my plan is to love everybody, and some of them will have to make it through.

[silverrangel.livejournal.com]

i know, and that's why i try not to get attached to them as groups and focus on them individually, so it won't be as painful when some debut and others get left behind. that's why i'm scared now of what's going to happen - i've never gone through that before. i've never really really liked a junior group and then had them ripped away from fandom. and i really, really hope that kisumai and abc will still be together when i finally make that trip to tokyo, because they are my absolute favorites.

i don't like it when johnny messes with us. T__T kity & butoukan alone were enough to give people heart attacks.

[keeconk.livejournal.com]

huaaaa!! this so sad but yet so good.. ya3x certainly had a special place in my heart, and they still do.. they split.. but somehow each time i see shoon, yabu, or hikaru.. i still see them as ya3x.. instead of hey say's yabu or hikaru or johnny jr;s shoon,

i love the ending.. it's not really an happy ending.. but it's the best ending for the fic..
^__^

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

that's definitely true for me, they'll always be Y3 first for me.

thanks!

[yuuriki.livejournal.com]

my throat feels tight too.

*flail* the fic was so good! one of those things that i'll probably want to read over and over again. thanks so much for sharing!

oh i'll be so happy if there's a duo album from the two of them~~~ *dreams*

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

As much as it hurt, when they did a couple Y3 songs right at the beginning as a duo, I hoped they'd go on doing it anyway, so that I'd get to keep hearing those songs.

thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[daisy-chan.livejournal.com]

cute and sweet and sad. I loved it ;____;

"Okay, now tell me why Yabu's trying to tunnel to America through the bottom of his cup."
XDD

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

thank you!

[harunomasu.livejournal.com]

So much love!!!! -wipe tears-
You don't know how happy I am when I read this
Now, I think I can't stop crying -sniffs-

Beautiful fic, with beautiful characters
I believe you are the Goddess of fanfic!
Keep writing about Ya-Ya-yah~

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[xiyu.livejournal.com]

I might be just a junior, but I can still kick your skinny ass from here to NHK Hall ♥

NEWS NO SLUMBER PARTY. HAHAHAHA. ♥ ♥

I seem to be suffering from Yayayah nostalgia nowadays. To think I used to hate Yabu so much last time. D: Not that I love him now, just that I appreciate his presence more Now I kind of wish that I grew to love Ya3 earlier. *sigh*

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

Same here, it seems to come and go in waves for me. Partially I think it's because the change is so startling from Yabu and Hikaru going from being younger members of Y3 and being brats and Shoon taking care of them, to them being the adults of HSJ. It seems like they grew up all at once, and it kind of took my breath away, Hikaru especially.

Thank you!

[xiyu.livejournal.com]

*nods* Yes omg Hikaru. I used to think he looks like a goldfish but now I think that its really cute. XDD Maybe its because I got to know someone who looks like him. But the more I grow to like Ya3, the more I resent HSJ. *sigh* Looking on the bright side, its good that at least 2 of them get to debut, but of course we would love it much more if Ya3 debut instead. JE is really good at making money. ;_________;

[bu-yao-ren.livejournal.com]

I approve. Of everything.
Except for the mental image you gave me for Arashi no carnival. 8D

[goldenclover.livejournal.com]

God, that was great ♥ I can't believe it's been over half a year but I still miss them like crazy. And I didn't even really get into them until the final weeks before the HSJ announcement ):

Anyhow, I really loved this and how the yayayah songs finally got a chance to be released. Hope that you'll keep writing yayayah (:

[hakai-kun.livejournal.com]

I love you for this~

this is not enough Ya3 ficcage these days, in my opinion. >D The plot was laid out very throughly and I love how you characterized everyone. I like that you included Taiyou here. And the tracklist at the end was a REALLY nice touch. wish it were real TT__TT I hope you'll write more Ya3 fics again. It's nostaligc and bittersweet :3


Hikaru and Yabu knew the second that Shoon showed up in the Hi! Hey! Say! practice room, because across the room, Reon gave an undignified yell and nearly killed the junior next to him waving.
I laughed so hard here XD

[tsubasa-lupin.livejournal.com]

This-is-just-sad ToT

Shokura is so not.. shokura without Hikaru and Yabu in Jr.niQ and in the reading fans letters segment, and Shoon is all alone ToT well, not ALL alone, there is always Reon xD

And yeah, I'm teary right now T_T OH JOHNNY-SAN WHYYYY

PS: this is made of awesome! <3 loved it to pieces

[http://users.livejournal.com/_____just_me/]

it's too late for my brain to be very coherent, but i can say one thing:



:D really awesome fic~ i just have one question though....what's Yokaze? Taiyou's solo....i've never heard of that. the only solos i can remember him doing are Ai wa NUDE, Feel It, and Have a Super Good Time... unless i missed seeing that one.

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

On the last Y3 show where they did a live, all four boys did solos. Yabu did Arashi no Carnival, Shoon did Bad*Nice, Hikaru did Gentles, and Taiyou did Yokaze, so those were the four I pulled. I was shooting for all original solos, but somebody above said they think Yokaze might be an arashi song, and they might be right, I'm not sure.

Anyway, that's where I got it from, since it was the most recent thing.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_____just_me/]

ahhhh i see. when i searched for Yokaze what came up was mostly Arashi stuff, so i guess it is one of their songs. must go check that out then, if Taiyo's sung it hehe~ thanks!

[puppeteer8.livejournal.com]

First of all... thanks so much for the dedication. <333 I feel so honored and moved. *hugs* Secondly... thanks so much for this beautiful fic! =D You always say you haven't been a junior fan for long, Moussie, but you write the best Ya-Ya-yah group fics. ^___^ You managed to make me cry with Till Whenever, and you made me cry with this one too!! D: Half-way through I found myself crying, but smiling at the same time, because it reflects so well what I think they must have felt and gone through!

I also like that you don't dramatize the situations and that the conversations feels so natural and devoid of cliches. =) And you've managed something else with this fic: you've reconciled me with the idea of Yabu and Hikaru singing Ya-Ya-yah songs! Months ago I wrote an entry on my blog about how it would be really weird if they sang Ya-Ya-yah songs without Taiyô and Shoon -as they actually did a couple of times in the Hi Hey Say show- and I didn't want them to, but after reading this fic I feel differently about it.

The idea of a track list made up by the four of them is so cool! =) I wonder what songs they'd choose, and I wonder if perhaps they actually made one. I can totally imagine that scene you describe happening at the hotel after the Daibouken concert. ^__^ And I absolutely LOVED that you made a "real" track list as if it had been scribbled by them! =)

Okay, and now on to my fave bits:

+ I smiled when I read about Shoon's drama with Koyama and Nino. I recall reading an entry about that on your LJ and wondering what that was all about. XD
+ "We'll be just like Tegomass," Hikaru was saying, hands fisted in glee and eyes full of stars and idiocy. "Just like Tackey and Tsubasa! Just like Kinki Kids!" This was so funny! And don't ask me why, but picturing Hikaru saying this reminds of Remy, the rat from Ratatouille. XD
+ Guilty/angry Yabu ~ I think that might have been his reaction for real. He's hard to read, but in the months before and after Ya-Ya-yah disbanding, he looked angry to me.
+ Tell them I said they should do it. Or else I'll trip on Yabu and crush him to death. I can so picture Taiyô saying that! XD And I liked that it was him who kept the tracklist and that he had kept it all that time and knew where it was. <3
+ the part in which Hikaru and Shoon interrupt the dance practice XD I'd love to see them doing that!!
+ ...Yabu murmured, brushing fingers over the words, like he could feel the rise of the ink. So beautiful. T__T
+ Because it'll mean that Hikaru and I are the only part of Ya-Ya-yah that mattered I think this is exactly what bothered me when Yabu and Hikaru sang Ya-Ya-yah songs on the HHS show.
+ KAT-TUN no Orgy and NEWS no Slumber Party... LOL
+ the last scene with Shoon and Reon in the car is just so sad and beautiful at the same time. T___T I can feel Shoon's melancholy, but also his strength in his last words: "let's go on". =)

*saves fic to hard disk*

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

Aw, it's no problem. i wish I had the muse to write them more often these days, and that it didn't come out so melancholy when i did! stupid brain, why you gotta be so honest. If it makes you feel better, I totally teared up myself when I was trying to write Yabu's explanation about Shoon and Taiyou being edited out. There is no room on the JE bus for looking back, is the truth.

I guess if it didn't suck sometimes, we wouldn't realize how much we love it. JE MAKES US ALL M D:

anyway, peroxidepest17 had the idea about the Pet Salon where their goal is to match each owner to their perfect pet, and it made me giggle like crazy. I think there needs to be an off-shot fic about just that.

Is it possible for me to write a fic without Reon in it at this point? Lol, i'm starting to think it isn't. Oh, Yamashita-tachi, why are you all so goddamned adorable. In the fic about the drama, he should be terrified of the set dogs, which are all like tiny little malteses or whatever thing.

I've always thought of Yabu as the one that didn't show much emotion because he felt it all too strongly on the inside, like Kame or Jun. He's got a lot of professionalism, bless his round head, so I like writing him with people that can see through him and know he isn't being cold, he's just doing his best.

Yeah, at first, I was pretty upset by the duo Y3 songs, but now that time has passed...I miss them more. They're such good songs! I want full versions of them! And I do honestly want Yabu/Hikaru duo work, because even though they're in the same group, there's too much going on to hear them singing together properly, and they sound so good together. So, I'll keep my fingers crossed, and hope that ongoing puberty drama, as HS is sure to have, will provide us the opportunity.

thanks again, it's such a pleasure to get detailed, intelligent comments like yours. ♥♥♥

[nattolen.livejournal.com]

"…at least until Chinen and Ryutarou's voices settle enough to stop making the juniors cry,"
this is the BEST PART! Thank you x°DDDDD I laughed like a crazy. By the way, I'm pretty sure I understand the whole fic, and it really made me sad. But I enjoyed it, Ya-Ya-Yah was one of the first group of JE that I knew after T&T and NEWS, and i immediately fall in love with ALL of them (well maybe less with Hikaru, his theet always scared me XD), I was totally in love with Taiyou's voice, Yabu's face, Shoon's Eyes, Hikaru's hair (X°DD'') and I really loved their show. When I see the old episodes I would wish that J. never separated them. In the past years, everyday I was anxyous to read this words: "Ya-Ya-Yah ready for debut", I really wished it, but... ç_ç well, I dont really HATE HSJ, but i really can't stand chinen. What can i say, thank you for writing this, and sorry for my bad english, i'm italian! XD''

[knowmonsta.livejournal.com]

This was very sad, but well written. Thanks for sharing!

[beargirl26.livejournal.com]

This is a brilliant fic...Yax3 was the first junior group I got into in the first place, too. So I can totally relate to you.

I found out about Yax3 from a youtube video. I typed in "japanese game shows" on the search box, and I eventually found an interesting video that featured these cute little kids having fun on this one game show. I didn't know who that MC guy was yet (Koyama) or who that woman with the bright colored hair was either (Midori)...I didn't even know the names of the kids on the show, nor that they sang and were regulars on it, as well. xD

I eventually found out everything and I became hooked basically. I learned a lot from Irea's blog and Kamichan's blog. The rest I found out about JE was from wikipedia and stuff. lol

But yeah...Ya Ya Yah will always have that special place in my heart as being the very first group that introduced me to the world of pretty, talented Asian boys.

Too bad that I wasn't a fan of Yax3 for very long before I found out that they split up because of HSJ's debut. Heart-breaking...T_T But I have since gotten over that and I've even fallen in love with HSJ, despite the fact that if they weren't formed, Yax3 would still be here. xD

Thanks for this fanfic. It is very touching and helps me to accept Yax3's split even more. =) I'd really love it if you wrote more Yax3 fics like this one.

[jaded-optimist.livejournal.com]

You posted this forever ago to yayayah and I opened it to read it because I miss Ya-Ya-Yah a lot (they were my first Junior group so I got really attached to them), but when I actually started reading and read your Author's Note I had to stop because I got really sad.

Your Author's Note actually made me cry a little because I feel just like that. But I feel bad because I'm not over it and I don't think I will ever really get over it (It's kinda hard to explain. Sometimes it's like I'm a bad fan because I couldn't get over what they were forced to get over and I feel bad because I couldn't just be happy that they are all doing well and at least Hikaru and Yabu got to debut and Shoon looks happy and hopefully Taiyou is doing well too) and All my friends have always just been like, "Well that's what happens. You have to get over it. Maybe you are too involved" which just makes me feel worse. But your note made it seem like maybe it is okay that I might never be fully over it and I think I needed that. But still I was thinking, "Would it be a good idea for me to read a nostalgic fic in this state?" I decided it probably wasn't because I would just get myself more depressed.

So after getting sad and going into a Yax3 depression (at least twice) I decided to come back and actually read the fic. It was sad. And made my heart hurt a little, but also I think helped me a bit. The humour that was stuck in it made me have Happy!tears a few times. It made me sad, but also made me feel kind of good. Nostalgia is weird that way, I suppose.

When the two of them first did Ya-Ya-Yah songs after the disbandment, I was so mad and sad because Ya-Ya-Yah was a lot more than just Hikaru and Yabu... but I guess now I just miss their songs and wouldn't mind it so much if I still got to hear them.

Oh wow, this is a really long rambley comment. I'm sorry. I should stop. But, I really did like the fic and thanks for sharing it. It was the happy-sad I think I needed...

I WANT A FULL LENGTH STUDIO RECORDED BAD*NICE!

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I feel bad missing Y3 so hard when the boys are still almost all right in front of me, but it's not like that means I'm not enjoying them now, it just means that I cared a lot for the old group too.

I think it's also a lonely place to be in because JE fandom turns over so quickly, that a lot of people I talk to not even a year later weren't even in fandom when Y3 existed.

And even though I am happy for all of them, watching the live of Ikujinashi that just came out still made my heart hurt, in a good way if that makes any sense, because Yabu and Hikaru look so grownup and they've changed so much even in the year and a half that I've watched them.

Mostly I just think knowing that other people feel the same way as you helps, that it isn't all in your head. I'm glad you enjoyed the fic.

and i want BAD*NICE very, very much.

[tinuviel228.livejournal.com]

If I was a crying type of gal I would have definitely cried buckets in this...
It was really bittersweet... I hope one day Yabu and Hikaru DO put out their album, though I don't know how I'd feel about them singing Ya-Ya-yah songs... But if not it would be totally awesomeeeeeeeeee

[talisa-ahn.livejournal.com]

Omg I'm crying. I miss Ya-Ya-Yah so much. Whenever I look at old magazines I always pause on their pages. Taiyou... T-T I can relate to Yabu's feelings. I hate it that people's existances get "erased" when they leave. Really well written. Thank you.

[messyboo.livejournal.com]

2 years passed and i'm still mourning...*cries in a corner*