So Here's the Thing

[mousapelli]

about this time of year every year, I start getting the emails for the ABNA (Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award), which in case you don't know, is an annual contest they run for new or self-published authors. It has a bunch of rounds and the winners get contracts with Penguin (iirc).

The thing is that even the mention of ABNA, just seeing the letters on my screen, makes me feel a burst of hatred.

This is due to the fact that 2 years ago I submitted Chaotic Butterfly, just to do it, and made it into the 2nd round where you get two random reviewers for the first 5k or something, and received, hands down, the worst review I've ever had for anything. Now, it's not like I think i'm the great American novelist or some shit, and I understand fake Japanese boyband is a truly niche market, but this was downright mean. It actually contained the words "no redeeming value." It was bad enough that I even wrote an email to be like, what the fucking fuck is this person doing reviewing a budding novelist contest and ps YOU KNOW WE CAN SEE OUR REVIEWS, ASSHAT.

I feel like I should be able to shake it off, I'm a big girl and I've been writing a long time, but the truth is that I obviously still think about it now and then, and that's pretty much exactly the time that the amount of writing I do dropped off sharply. Last year I wrote less than 20 total fics, and this is definitely not 0% of the factors in that. So part of my irritation is aimed at myself for letting it get to me. But I still wish the ABNA was a person I could slap across the face every time their pitch is all "inspiring new authors! yay!"

So whatever, that's what I have to say about that. Fuck you, ABNA.

Comments

[bluejeans07.livejournal.com]

I so do not blame you for your reaction, that reviewer was completely at fault and shame on Amazon on not taking that person to the cleaners. If the important thing about this competition is to inspire new authors, then their reviewers have to write their reviews more constructively instead of spewing bile.

As for being able to shake it off, here's one of my favorite Neil Gaiman quotes, "It does help, to be a writer, to have the sort of crazed ego that doesn't allow for failure. The best reaction to a rejection slip is a sort of wild-eyed madness, an evil grin, and sitting yourself in front of the keyboard muttering "Okay, you bastards. Try rejecting this!" and then writing something so unbelievably brilliant that all other writers will disembowel themselves with their pens upon reading it, because there's nothing left to write. Because the rejection slips will arrive. And, if the books are published, then you can pretty much guarantee that bad reviews will be as well. And you'll need to learn how to shrug and keep going."

[jehnt.livejournal.com]

omg I loooooove that Gaiman quote!!

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the kind words.

[cierra-james.livejournal.com]

0.0 Someone disliked CB??? In what strange reality does this person live? Your CB verse is is one of the best things Ive ever read ever! Im one of those who can never read something more than once, I get bored of bad or repetitive fic very, very easily. There have been 2 authors/series that Ive ever liked enough to re-read, your CB and Tamora Pierce's Immortals... and I think I may have re-read your CB verse once or twice more often. Bottom line, whoever wrote you that review is talking out their arse!

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

thank you, that's really nice of you to say ♥

If you can cope with some Australian vernacular

[elij-0650.livejournal.com]

Here's a link to Tim Minchin replying to a hedeous review which he recieved early on in his career:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA2udpPjxUk

Warning for foul language and the sort of feelings "civilized" people never admit to.

And may your crap reviewer rot as well. I love Chaotic Butterfly and would hate to nag you to write more... but any more will be recieved with joy unlimited and possibly gifts (bribe, bribe...)

Re: If you can cope with some Australian vernacular

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

thank you ♥

and don't worry, I'm sure more will be forthcoming in the nearish future.

[kira-shadow.livejournal.com]

I've had similar experiences which is why I keep away from certain things, too. Thinking about them upsets me greatly still but I'm trying to tell myself that there's only forward that there are people who like what I do and write and everyone else can go fuck themselves. It's hard to do sometimes though and there are days when I just cannot stop thinking about it.

*sigh*

Maybe one day, when we've dealt with our issues we'll emerge stronger from it? :X *clings to tiny shred of hope*

But seriously, how can they just allow people to write whatever the fuck they want and not you know, screen people to make sure they actually write constructive criticism for something like that? You'd imagine they'd be a serious enough company for this shit... :/ *unimpressedtamaface*

For all that it means, we here (and I think I can speak for other people here), love what you write and we support you.

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

yeah, i definitely think more of a screening process would be to everybody's benefit.

*hugs* thanks, you too.

[fantomeq.livejournal.com]

I'd be really pissed off too. Why put it in the second round then bash it? Give constructive criticism, people! Even if you don't like the genre, every story has strong and weak points to describe.

[mousapelli.livejournal.com]

♥ thanks.